Wanting Approval

Chapter Ten

"Great, okay! See ya then" Blake says before heading off to put his stuff in his locker with the biggest smile on his face and a little more pep in his step because he just finally got Lewis, the most adorable being in school to agree to spend time alone with him. He's going to make sure this is exactly like last time where Lewis gets to open up to him and Blake can absorb everything he says. 

Lewis spends the rest of the day distracted by his impending stress, he has managed to keep most things at bay because of his school work but once the day is done he knows all the horrible possibilities are going to crash down on him. Dylan can tell that something is on his mind for most of their last class so while walking home he prompts Lewis with questions about his day and his plans for tonight. To which Lewis responds with a panicked look and questions about what he should do when Blake gets there. Dylan thinks he got Lewis to a below freak out level by the time they split up to go home.

However, Lewis for the rest of his walk is now left alone with his overactive brain, he can only think about every situation that could end in disaster. Blake could be teasing him and not show up, this would be a really big let down. Blake could be horrible company, this one is a little harder to imagine because he was fine when they were talking after he came to check up on Lewis. Or Blake could try something that Lewis just really isn't ready for and push him too far. Can Lewis say no to him, he doesn't want to lose him as a friend but he really doesn't want to do anything new tonight. Worst of all is if Blake is completely straight and only wants to hangout as friends, then Lewis is going to be super awkward for having a crush on Blake.

Once Lewis is home his parents explain there is money on the counter if he wants to order take out or there are leftovers in the fridge but he would have to add something to them, then they say their goodbyes and leave Lewis with his little siblings and his thoughts. Lewis is sitting on his bed staring at his phone but the screen is blank, he has been in this position for a while. He originally picked it up to try and reach Blake to cancel but he couldn't do it. Now he is finding it increasingly hard to think, his thoughts are moving too fast for him to keep track and now his breathing is getting shorter. Just as he is about to go full on panic attack his phone lights up with a facetime from Callie. Lewis picks it up because he knows she will help with this and he has been told many times to never be left alone during his attacks. As soon as Callie can hear him trying to breathe on the other end she knows this is not good and all she can do is spring into action like always. Lewis can hear Callie giving him instructions even with his eyes squeezed shut so he is trying his hardest to focus on her words.

"Hey, hey. Can you take a seat for me please?" Callie asks then after seeing Lewis shift a bit and settle she knows he has found a comfortable spot. "Okay, can you open your eyes and look for fuzzy please?" Callie says again seeing her words sinking in then he takes a second still trying to breathe while focusing on his search for his favorite blanket to wrap around himself during attacks. "Okay, you are doing so good, now can you take a deep breath and hold it for three then we are going to let it out slowly right?" Callie says after seeing Lewis wrap the blanket around himself and settle again. She knows that he knows the breathing is next so she does a vague explanation of their next step then starts counting so he can try and line up his breathing to her rhythm. "Okay, keep going, you're doing great, can you tell me what happened?" Callie asks after waiting a while for Lewis's breathing to be somewhat back to normal. However, Lewis just shakes his head and keeps his eyes closed while taking deep slow breaths. "No, alright. Take your time I'm here when you are ready" Callie says then falls silent just listening to Lewis keeping his breaths under control and waiting to know what set him off.

"Okay, I t-t-t-think I'm-m ready" Lewis says after a while of breathing and focusing on staying calm.

"Alright I am listening. What's going on?" Callie asks giving Lewis her undivided attention

"Um ... B-b-b-blake is c-coming over s-s-s-soon" Lewis says before taking a brief pause so he can still take deep breaths. "We are b-babysitting t-t-together ton-n-night. What if he j-j-j-just want t-to b-be friends and h-h-he is straight? What if he doesn't l-like m-m-m-me? W-what if he is j-just messing with me a-a-and n-not coming?" Lewis says trying to convince Callie that he is just too nervous for this and she has to help him fix it.

"Wow, wow, don't work yourself up again. Come on this is Blake, he is super sweet and totally has a crush on you. He is not messing with you and will most definitely love you" Callie says in her most mom/teacher voice because she really wants Lewis to see what she and Dylan see when looking at him. Just then Dylan finally joins their call and so she fills him in on what she is trying to explain to Lewis and how they just got him calmed down. 

"Oh bud, you guys are going to have so much fun, I promise" Dylan says because he knows Blake has been planning this out and cares a lot about Lewis so he is going to make certain that he enjoys himself no matter what.

"N-n-now w-what if he tries like you know ... s-s-stuff" Lewis says looking anywhere but his screen so he doesn't have to talk about this with his friends, but he has to talk to someone and definitely won't be his family.

"Hey, If you are not ready you can tell him that. I trust Blake won't push you, but you can always call us as soon as anything even remotely out of what you want happens okay. We are here and ready to come to rescue at all times" Callie says, making sure Lewis knows he can always feel safe when he knows they are around.

"Okay, I'm ... j-just thank you g-g-guys" Lewis says with a big sigh because he knows Blake is going to get here any minute and he should at least look at himself in the mirror before just in case it looks like he has been crying.

"K bud, have a goodnight, make smart choices and don't do anything Callie would do" Dylan says before they hang up making Lewis let out a much needed laugh.