Resonant

Chapter 17

Zale

I was putting on a good front for Astrea, who didn't need my own uncertainty piling on top of her own. I meant it when I told her we would get her situation figured out... I just had no idea what that would look like yet and I worried about promising things I couldn't deliver. There was a very real possibility that our solution in the end would still hurt her, and I dreaded it.

Fen's hand in mine was like an anchor. He seemed concerned about Astrea, but I could see that he had complete faith in my ability to find a solution. Maybe that kind of faith was unwarranted, but it felt good to have all the same.

I was starting to see what it could be like, being with him. His unwavering support was the pillar of strength I had been missing, and his selflessness might help me temper my selfish tendencies.

And he was so forgiving.

He should have been mad at me for days. I should have had to earn back his trust and affection. In fact, if he hadn't set this precedent of openness and forgiveness, I was sure I would have set us down a darker path. Even Harlow had never been immune to my moods... but it was starting to seem impossible to inflict them on Fen. Just being near him made the dark clouds that hung over me just a little easier to bear.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

"Yeah." And it was true, even with my worry for Astrea and Kyra. "Are you?"

Fen looked pleased I had asked. He wanted so little from me. "I'm great."

He was certainly happier than when I had found him at lunch this afternoon, and I accepted his answer with a nod even though I wanted to keep talking. We had reached the dining hall, and Astrea's situation had to take priority for now.

My mother was already waiting at the table when we entered, and we resumed our seats from earlier without fanfare. "So?" I prompted when we were all settled.

Her lip quirked upward on one side and I could almost hear the scolding she wanted to give me over my impatience. "I've spoken with Leandra," she said, referring to Astrea's mother. "She supports her husband."

Astrea slumped in her seat, but what really bothered me was that she didn't seem at all surprised. "She never disagrees with him," she said bitterly.

Mom nodded sympathetically. "It's one of the reasons we didn't work out. He didn't like when I made my own decisions." Her eyes flicked to me and I looked away. The circumstances of my birth were what had ultimately broken them up.

"So that's it, then," Astrea said.

"Not quite," Mom disagreed. "When it became obvious I wouldn't get anywhere with Leandra, I messaged Euripides."

I went rigid. That must have been so hard for my mother. I knew she didn't like thinking of him, much less having to communicate. There was a lot of old resentment there I still didn't fully understand.

Astrea stiffened in her seat, too, while she waited for the verdict. My mother continued, "Things between our nations might be strained for a while. I had to apply more pressure than I wanted to, but in the end, he came around. I can't stop Euripides from using other means to pressure your sister, Astrea, but he'll leave you out of it."

I was stunned. Sure, I thought my mother would be able to help, but I never expected her to make Astrea's problems vanish so swiftly.

"How?" Astrea gasped disbelievingly.

My mother's nose wrinkled in distaste. "I know a lot of things he doesn't want made public."

So she had blackmailed him. I smirked at the thought. Cool.