Frank;
Gerard and I walk silently on our way back from school, then a questions pops up in my mind. His birthday is a little over a month from now. "You have your permit, don't you?" I ask, probably confusing him.
"Like driving permit? Yeah. Why?"
"Because when you're sixteen we won't have to walk to and from school," I state, probably showing him just how lazy I am, but you know what? I don't care.
"Elena could give us rides, you know," he explains, chuckling a little in the process.
"Why didn't you say that before?! It's like death walking out here in the cold!" I practically scream. It's not even the cold that's bothering me, honestly, just the fact that I could be out here for like a minute and probably get hypothermia because my immune system is such shit. That's a bit of an exaggeration, but it's kind of true.
"You never said anything about it." Smartass. I don't say that though, his house is just a few feet away, putting me in a better mood. Heat. I internally sigh in relief. Heat is good.
Eventually making it inside, I shed my two jackets and lay them on the back of the couch. My bare arms are instantly heated and I'm not freezing anymore. Whoever invented air conditioning and heating is fucking wonderful.
"Wanna just hang out or something?" Gerard asks after taking off his bag and jacket as well.
"Not now, I have to go talk to Mikey," I decline, walking towards the stairs that lead to the second floor. "Maybe later we could go on a walk or something." I don't wait for his response, I start up the stairs and easily find my best friend's bedroom.
I'm not ready for this conversation, but I knock on his door anyway. I know it's just going to break him even more, but he needs to hear it instead of clinging onto a false hope that Ray will come back. "Come in," I hear faintly.
I open the door slowly, peeking in before entering entirely. "Hey, Mikes.. How you doin'?"
"You know the answer," he mumbles, his face buried in his pillow.
"Um, I talked to Ray," I say hesitantly, trying to get it over with. I don't want this conversation lasting any longer than it has to. Not that I don't want to talk to him, just that I hate seeing him so broken.
"You did?" He asks, picking his head up and wiping his nose with his hand. His glasses are off, probably due to him sleeping the day away, and his clothes are rumpled and creased.
"Yeah.." I say quietly, walking over to his bed to sit on the edge.
"What'd he say?" He sits up and hunches forward, using his hand to wipe his nose again.
"It's really over, Mikes.." His faces slowly drops, more tears dripping down his cheeks and dropping onto his bed sheets, staining them a darker color.
"What..." He forces out, his voice cracking.
"I'm sorry, Mikes," I whisper, reaching my hand down to grab onto his, resisting the urge to pull away when I feel the snot he wiped away with it.
He doesn't respond, just latches to my hand and lets the tears run down his cheeks. He lets the snot run from his nose. It's a disheartening sight, it really is. Mikey is usually neutral, passive, quiet. I've only seen him like this a few times, and it has broken me every time.
"Is that all he said?" He whispers, obviously trying to contain himself.
I decide that I shouldn't tell him everything, just hearing that it's over is already breaking him up inside, so, I lie. "Yeah.. He just told me that it's over."
"But... B-But that can't be all," he declares, his voice cracking more than earlier.
"Sorry, Mikey," I whisper, letting go of his hand and wrapping my arm around him, bringing him into a side hug. "I'm sorry.."
He rests his head on my shoulder, letting the tears soak into my shirt. His crying isn't harsh like it was last night. He isn't really sobbing or choking on his own breath, he's just letting the tears stream down his face while whimpering or sniffling a few times. "What am I going to do?"
"I don't know, Mikes," I answer quietly, resting my head on his.
"Ray was, and still is, everything to me. I love him, Frank. He doesn't care."
"He cares, Mikey. He cares. He just doesn't feel like you are the boy for him," I explain.
"But I want to be," he whispers, bringing his hands up and wiping his tears and wiping them on his pajama pants.
"I know, Mikey. You'll find someone else though. He'll be great, I promise you."
"What if he isn't though?" He asks. "What if he is but I don't see it because I miss Ray?"
"Don't date until you're over him. It isn't fair to your partner if you use them to cover the pain of a past relationship."
"I'm not going to get over him," he tells me. "I love him.."
"I know you do," I answer, hugging his shoulders tighter.
"How am I going to get over him? How am I supposed to move on? I can't." He pulls away from me and face plants his pillow, curling up in a ball.
I set my hand on his shoulder and rub it lightly, just showing him that I'm here for him.
"Will you help me, Frank?" Mikey asks, his voice filtering through the material of the pillow.
"Of course, Mikes," I tell him, keeping my hand on his shoulder. "That's what best friends are for."
*~*~*~*
Wow that was short. I'm sorry if it wasn't that good, I've just been really busy and I've been having kind of a crappy week.
Anyways, I'm kind of excited because I'm turning sixteen next Saturday and I might get a job and yeah. Also, I'm like really motivated to lose weight and it's nice so I'm spending free time working out and I'm gonna start a smoothie diet next month hopefully and yay! c:
I love you guys! I'll try to update soon
xoCrashFire
