it's you, it's always been you

chapter 122

Deena reaches out and brushes back some of Sam's blonde hair behind her ear, then leaves her hand to gently lay the side of Sam's face.

"I think we missed each other very much," Sam spoke with a smile on her face that mirrored Deena's.

"We did. I'm never taking a moment with you for granted again." Deena replied and then leaned in and kissed the top of Sam's nose like Sam just did which causes both of them to laugh lightly.

Sam props herself up on her elbows to look down her stomach and hips. She trails her fingers gently over the scars from her surgeries and gunshot wound. "It's a mess. All these scars where I've been torn open."

"Do they hurt?" Deena watches Sam's fingers as they trace her scars.

"Not really. Unless it's touched with a lot of pressure, or I stretch one way too much. But I'm glad I finally got the stitches out. I was so scared to do much after I tore a stitch while running." Sam lets out a sigh as memories come back about that day when she ran away from both Deena and her dad.

"They will be there my whole life. No matter how long it is," Sam is cut off by Deena.

"Sam.. remember, you can't talk like that. I'm not losing you. I've been so close before and I can't even think about it again. It's too painful."

"I know but I didn't mean it like that. I meant like, it's still going to be there when I'm 90. And yes we will be 90 years old together and much older. I'm planning on it."

"I'd love that." Deena's worries faded into a smile as Sam talked about being old together.

"I don't think they are ugly though, Sam. I think they're beautiful. They showed that you've survived. They're reminders of how strong you are and how much you've grown. I'm proud of them." Deena spoke as she moved down the bed. She gently kissed over each scar on Sam's stomach and hips.

Sam watched Deena in awe as she spoke and kissed the scars she thought was ugly and just another flaw she had. But Deena's words about how they prove she survived made her think differently about them.

Deena got up from the bed and changed her clothes, she put on the sweater of hers that Sam wore from the hospital.

"Oh you're stealing my clothes now?" Sam smiled as she watched as Deena dressed.

"They are your clothes now? Where's the receipt? Why are they in my size and not yours?" Deena teased.

Sam laughed and got up to changed also, wearing one of Deena's flannels with a white t-shirt of Deena's underneath.

Deena forgot the past week of drama and suffering through it all without Sam. She felt so warm and light around Sam that she forgot about how painful it's been without her.

Whenever she is near Sam, it doesn't make her heart beat faster like how the movies said that would happen around the person you're in love with.

Sam did the opposite. She brought Deena peace. She made Deena feel at home even when they were far away from Deena's house. Whenever she was with Sam, she was home.

"Come on, let's go get food." Deena held out her hand for Sam after they got dressed and cleaned up.

Deena went to open the passengers side door for Sam but Sam went to the drivers side and smirked at Deena.

"Oh God, no. That face. What are you planning?"

"Nothing, I'm innocent, remember? I just want to drive." Sam's smirk didn't fade from her face as she spoke.

"Fine, here," Deena gave in like always to Sam and handed her the keys when they got into the car.

Sam drove to their restaurant as she drove, she sat close to the steering wheel and didn't take her eyes off the road.

Deena watched Sam drive the whole time with a smile on her face. She thought it was so adorable how determined Sam was when she drove. And how cute she would furrow her eyebrows and had the most serious face Sam could have.

They got their cheeseburgers and cokes, but Sam kept on driving which confused Deena because they usually stayed there and ate together.

"I should've known you were planning something the moment I saw that innocent smirk on your face."

Sam laughed but didn't take her eyes off the road.

She drove out to the woods between Sunnyvale and Shadyside. The spot Sam took Deena when she gave her the ring.

Sam parked on the side of the road very carefully, far enough that cars wouldn't get too close as they passed by.

"Come on," Sam spoke with a smile before she got out of the car.

Sam went to the trunk of the car and got out two blankets she put in there awhile ago. Sam looped her arm through Deena's and led her to the rock.

She laid the blanket down on the side of the rock that looked most comfortable to sit on.

The sun had just started to set and the sky lit up in pink and light purple sky. Sam sat down on the rock and patted the spot right next to her for Deena to join her.

"You're adorable, I love you." Deena said as she joined Sam on the rock and kissed her once she sat down.

" I love you too, and you're pretty cute too," Sam spoke then she laid the second blanket over their legs.

They ate together and looked up at the sky as it turned more colors then slowly got darker.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. You surprised me so much that it completely went out of my mind. But Taylor got expelled. She said she was going to New York because that's where you've always wanted to go, but now she can't finish high school and graduate so she can't go."

"Holy shit. Did you guys give the principal the tape or something?"

"No..I was walking in the hallway before first period the day after we talked to Riley and I snuck in to see you. And then she said all this stuff about you.."

"Like what? What happened?" Sam got more concerned as Deena spoke.

"She said sorry to hear you and I broke up. Then she said that she would treat you better in every way. Also that if you didn't run out of the bathroom at the party then she would have..fucked you..all that was her words. Not mine. She was saying anything to get me to hit her. But all I could think about was New York with you so I stepped back and went to walk away from her. Then she got too angry and pushed me hard against a locker. She tried to hit me but I blocked it and stopped her hand."

Sam's jaw dropped as Deena spoke. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry Deena. It's all my fault. Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"

"Sam, it's not your fault she's a fucking psychopath. She did all that, you were not at fault for any of it. But no I didn't get hurt. There was a bruise on my shoulder but it's basically gone now. I'm okay, really. I wanted to hit her so bad Sam. Especially when she said she was going to fuck you. I couldn't take it but my future with you is too important to risk for even one moment." Deena took Sam's hand and interlocked their fingers together.

"I'm so proud that you stepped away. That's badass that you blocked her when she tried to hit you. My tough lesbian girlfriend. I'm so glad she's expelled now. But I never told Taylor that I wanted to go to NYU. That's so weird."

"That is weird, but let's not think about that right now. I want to look up at the stars and moon with my girlfriend and feel so in love with you." Deena said then leaned in and kissed Sam. This whole day felt like a dream to Deena. A dream she never wanted to wake up from.

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for those that reach out to me on instagram, i am taking a break from all my social media except this app. i deleted the insta, twitter and snapchat apps from my phone. i already feel so much better. i definitely recommend a social media break for a few days