it's you, it's always been you

chapter 94

Sam waited on the front porch for Deena. As soon as she left the doctors office, all she wanted to do was to have Deena hold her.

She smiled as soon as she saw Deena's car and went to the driveway to meet her.

She has come so far since chemotherapy, she dreaded going back to feeling that sick again.

The second she saw the worried look on Deena's face, tears started to form.

With one look at Sam, Deena knew she wasn't okay. She opened her arms and wrapped them around Sam tightly the moment she was close enough.

Sam buried her face into Deena's neck as the tears fell from her light blue eyes.

Deena's heart ached as she held Sam and listened to her cry. She was grateful it wasn't cancer but the high risk that Sam could get seriously sick again made her nauseous.

"I love you so much Sam, I'm not going anywhere. We are going to get through this. Like we always have and always will." Deena whispered to Sam.

Sam pulled back, out of Deena's arms and nodded. "I love you too."

Sam took Deena's hand and intertwined their fingers, then bringing their hands up to her lips to kiss the back of Deena's hand.

"I love that you do that. It's adorable." Deena spoke as they walked into Sam's house.

Of course Deena understood why Sam's dad wanted her to stay with him, but she would miss having Sam with her every night in her bed. She's gotten so used to being with Sam all the time, when they weren't in school.

"I took some of your shirts and sweaters. The ones I wore most so the ones that you haven't worn in awhile since I did." Sam said once they got to her room.

It was much bigger than the one at her mom's house, but Sam hasn't spent much time at her dad's house since she was always at Deena's house and in her bedroom.

"I'm glad you did. I'm going to miss you at school so much. We already got into colleges and they still have to bore us until the end of the year." Deena spoke as she sat on Sam's bed.

"I'd rather be there than here. But here is better than the hospital I guess. I really hoped I was over being sick. I don't want to feel that weak again." Sam sighed as she laid down on her bed, facing Deena as she sat on the bed.

Deena reached out to Sam and put her hand on her cheek, running her thumb back and forth on her cheek.

"Sam you've gotten through so much worse. And you will get through this. We will get through this. It's a good time to get stronger, so you will be when we go to New York and eat so much greasy street food. And visit every museum all day long in our free time. Anything and everything you want, Sam. I promise."

Sam smiled once Deena spoke of their future together as they went to college in New York. She needed the hope of their life together to dream of as she tried to get strong again.

"You're right." Sam took Deena's hand from her face and pulled Deena to her and kiss her.

"So no running away to New York right now, I have to wait?" Sam teased as she pouted at Deena, referring to when she literally ran away from the hospital before.

"Sam, that's not even funny to joke about. You can't leave or run away. You done it too many times and I nearly had a heart attack each time."

"But I always came back to you. Both times, I came back to you." Sam kissed Deena again. She wasn't seriously considering running away again. Not when her future with Deena was on the line.

She had so much to look forward to and so many things to live and see with Deena.

The more she thought about it, the more excited she got. She couldn't remember the last time she got so excited about something. She felt like a little kid on Christmas morning and all Sam dreamed for was to spend every moment she had left with Deena.

"Oh!" Sam exclaimed as she broke their kiss. "I almost forgot. My dad is feeling sorry and guilty for being a shitty dad again, so he wants to help us in New York and rent an apartment for us. He said that way he will know we are safe. And I can tell he feels awful for the past 18 years of my life, which I'm not saying he shouldn't be. He said he was proud of us, how we love each other. How he never had anything like it with my mom. So I'm thinking you have his blessing at least for marriage." Sam smiled as she sat up to face Deena.

"That's amazing. Holy shit. I mean it's not amazing for how he treated you and how he started bailing on you again. But it's amazing that he will do that for us. It still doesn't make up for everything that happened to you, Sam but at least he's trying. And that's a big thing." Deena placed her hand on top of Sam's.

"It would be a lot worse if he did try to keep us apart. I'm grateful that he understands us and how your happiness is the most important thing in both mine and his life. I'll ask him one day, not that you can't get married without his approval."

"Your happiness is the most important thing in my life too. You're my heart." Sam took Deena's hand and ran her finger over her ring that was on Deena's finger.

Deena leaned in and rested her forehead on Sam's, "you're my heart too...even if you get so sick again Sam, I'll be here every moment. I'll be strong enough for the both of us. You're getting weak right now, but you'll get stronger. Just like last time. I won't quit until you do." Deena promised. She was devastated that Sam could get so weak and sick again, but she had a future she wanted to give Sam and she wasn't going to stop.

i keep accidentally calling my kitten Sam, and his name is tuesday and he's the biggest fan of this fic