Limitless // Doyu

Chapter 13: I miss who we were together

The good thing, for Doyoung, about never having crushes growing up was the fact he never really experienced rejection (Unless you count that one time when Jaehyun dared him to ask Wendy out, but he felt more relieved than rejected when she said no). However, the downside of this fact was, he didn't really know how much pain he's supposed to feel, how much sorrow, how much regret. He wasn't really sure if he should curl himself up in his room for days or sit and binge watch Coffee Prince (again) with a pint of Halo Top. 

If he really thought about it all he had learned about this topic was through kdramas (since he couldn't rely on Jaehyun to tell him how it felt either, like… who'd even dare to reject him with that face) and reality was… it seemed really painful, if it didn't hurt then why would they be kneeling on the middle of the road crying while it rained? Doyoung couldn't come up with any excuse for that other than… rejection probably fucking sucks.

Kim Doyoung

Contrary to any prior sentiments Doyoung might've imagined… after Yuta ended things on Friday, he was doing pretty good, his sense of self worth wasn't hanging by a thread like he'd pictured and maybe it was because he didn't really feel like it had ended or maybe, if he was being honest, he was simply pretending it didn't hurt, and his sense of self worth wasn't hanging by a threat but instead, by a single string of spider web.  

He likes to think the latter isn't even possible because, reality is, he still feels happy. He looks at Yuta and it's like nothing really changed. They just don't have sex now, that doesn't really mean anything, the older did kiss him Friday night (even if for the weekend they behaved like normal friends) and maybe he's being delusional but everything just points to feelings being reciprocated… or at the very least… a small chance that they could in the future. 

He skips breakfast that morning, not because he feels the need to but rather because he woke up before anyone else, and there's an opportunity to do so without anyone catching him so he takes it. Of course he's not dumb though, he spills cereal and milk on a bowl and leaves it on the kitchen sink. Unlike other days, he doesn't hear that tiny voice in the back of his brain that's telling him to do it, he just does, like his brain is on automatic. He realizes this is basically how he's felt this weekend, like he's on autopilot, though oddly, he feels a sense of control, over not being in control. 

When Yuta finally wakes up he looks tired (like he was woken up rather than doing it on his own), his hair is messy, his eyes are still half shut, and he looks confused as he holds himself. Doyoung wonders how often Yuta gets cold, for himself, it almost seems like he's never not cold. 

Doyoung knows why Yuta looks confused though. He never gets out of bed unless the older does it first, so why Doyoung was in the living room already was something Yuta probably can not explain, and if Doyoung is being honest, he's not sure why he's up either. 

He watches Yuta brew some coffee and it's like the smell triggered something in the house cause not even 5 minutes later Johnny's up. 

"Isn't that my shirt?" Is the first thing he says, and Doyoung wants to protest but it is, in fact, very obviously Johnny's shirt.

"It looks better on me anyways" He replies, giving a little twirl and sticking his tongue out in a childish manner. Johnny just smiles. 

"Yeah, you're right" Doyoung blushes, not really expecting the compliment. He pretends not to notice Yuta tensing up before he downs his cup of coffee. 

"We should all go out today, after the kids come from school" His mom comments with Gongmyung, who looks even more tired than Yuta… well… even more tired than anyone else in the room really.