Broken Souls ✔️

Ch. 3 How Much Has She Dealt With?

(Y/N)'s P.O.V.
Stareing at myself in the full body mirror, I'm beginning to wish it was winter.  I know the Autobots and Cade see me and worry, but now someone else will see me.  Though I don't know what she looks like; by the sound of it, Jamie isn't boney like me. 

I forgot Jamie is a short four foot seven- inches. Oddly short for a twenty-two-year-old.
I stand a good ten feet from the table and watch Jamie refusing to eat. Both Crosshairs and Drift are concerned. Optimus is not going to like this. Now's not the time to reunite with her.  It's strange for Ratchet to walk by me without questioning if I've eaten. I don't think this will last long.

Then there's Optimus, who, of course, will not let the fact I don't eat get past him as a friend is here. Not even after I tell him, I saw Jamie, and she refused to eat.
"So, you worry about her not eating, and yet you refuse to eat?"
I asked for this by telling him about Jamie.
Optimus refuses to let me go. I get my usual lecture about needing to eat.

Jamie's P.O.V.
I can't tell them anything. I hope being here will help like always.  They know it's normal for me not to eat breakfast; what is up with them being so worried?
Though I should expect Ironhide is worried. He doesn't know I don't eat much. I can tell he wants to ask Crosshairs and Drift why, but he walks away.

Crosshairs leaves us as Drift takes me to his room in the house. Drift sits on his bed, and with the two of us alone, a let myself cry. I know Drift wasn't expecting this.

Drift's P.O.V.
I knew it; I failed her. This is 'i needed you weeks ago' crying.  I should have went to her dimension. Being here with someone else who is suicidal is dangerous.  I don't know what to say.  Neither does Crosshairs when he walks in. The three of us lay on my bed, though it's a challenge for Crosshairs and I, so Jamie is laying on her back.  I don't know if I should be troubled by how Crosshairs has tissues in his pocket or not.
"Shh, it's ok," he says as he wipes her eyes.
Is it, though? Something is going on back in her dimension. You know she doesn't cry like this unless she's depressed or something is troubling her, Crosshairs.

Jamie is asleep within twenty minutes.
"I told you this is a bad idea!"
"It's going to be tough for a while, but the two femmes can help each other," Crosshairs assures me, but he doesn't sound too assuring. 

Three hours later

(Y/N)'s P.O.V.
I wasn't misled about how small Jamie is as I watch Drift carry her out of the house. What worries me more is she is not happy. I think she has been crying.  Surely I'm not meant to help her? Both of us helping each other...I don't know. What are the chances I could cause her to sink deeper into depression and be like me? Surely the Autobots and Cade thought of that, so I have to trust they know what they're doing...

...and not panic as Crosshairs and Drift say they'll leave us alone. Even though I know, they'll be watching us.  Uh, guys, it's clear she's struggling. Little information would be nice.
I sigh as the two mechs walk to the table.

Jamie doesn't say much as I try to talk to her.
I don't want this to be a one-sided conversation, but...
"Do you remember me?" I ask. Jamie nods. Well, we can skip the part where I talk about how I was ditched and have been living with the Autobots, "and how the others are dead? My best friends are gone. I failed them, and I shouldn't be alive. Why live when I'll only fail people or the Autobots?"
I can tell Jamie is thinking she's supposed to say something now but can't because it'll be lying as she's hurting over something mentally as well. I'll have to ask Optimus about her.

What he tells me is unbelievable. How the hell is she not like me at this point? Did Crosshairs, Drift, and Prime tell her to stay home where the source of her depressions is to keep her from knowing how bad I am? That can't be right, considering how worried Drift is. I wasn't told to bring up the issues around Jamie's depression. I hope Crosshairs and Drift don't get mad that I've made Jamie cry.

Jamie's P.O.V.
Every other bot is dead. I can't believe it. I tried to hide then from Cemetery Wind. I know (Y/N) was close to Mirage and Sideswipe. She probably blames me for their deaths. That must be why I wasn't allowed to come back until now, but if she was that pissed, she'd think about killing me soon enough.