Where He Belongs

~Six~

He was pulling a black t-shirt, looking over his shoulder at me. I nodded, dropped my foot to the floor. I changed into loose jeans and a baggy t-shirt. I looked away as Liam took off his pants, a blush working its way up to my cheeks. We weren't mates yet. It was indecent for me to see him in such a way. "Ready?" Liam asked, wrapping his arms around me.

I nodded into his hard chest, feeling anxiety grip me by the throat. But I had to do this. I had to be strong enough to leave the house. Even if it was at the crack of dawn for a few minutes.

It was a first step anyway.

The cabin was dead quiet, light barely shining through the windows. Liam smiled, pressing a finger against his lips as he scrawled a quick note on the notepad on the kitchen, sitting beside a basket of baked goods Liam's mother had sent over with him. Grabbing a muffin he wrapped an arm around my waist practically carrying me out the door as if sensing my apprehension and plan to scurry back to bed. The air was crisp and for the most part made me feel a bit better. Liam pulled me around the cabin, through the sparse trees clumped there into the big open field we spent time with. He pulled off his shirt after stuffing the muffin into his mouth. I turned away stripping off my own clothing.

I stood there, feeling a light breeze run over my skin as I let the energy run through my body until all four paws settled on the floor. I raised my head slowly, breathing in deeply. The smells crashed over my senses. The fresh smell of the river, the organic smell of dirt...it was all refreshing. A large wolf nudged my shoulder before licking one side of my muzzle. I backed away from him, tail sweeping widely and lowered myself in to a playful position. Liam copied the position, letting out a small yip as he did so.

I relished the feeling of my muscles stretching as I playfully jumped at Liam who easily avoided my attack. I laid down in the long, dew damp grass and felt the warm rays of the early sun on my fur. It'd been a while since I felt it. Liam settled down beside me. His dark gray and brown pelt warming my side as he set his large head on top of mine. He let out a sigh of relaxation. I didn't move, enjoying my moment peaceful clarity. I felt complete for a moment. Like all the troubles form earlier had been shed with my human form. Now, as a wolf, those problems no longer applied.

I felt a light breeze rustle my fur. I inhaled deeply, familiar smells caressing my senses. I felt free out here, no longer confined in the small room behind the woodstove. But I still felt the heaviness of limitation. My fears were still in place, limiting me from ever being able to ever really be carefree again. But I had a mate who seemed to love me unconditionally and saw my beauty where I found my own faults.

How much more could a wolf really ask for?

~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~

When we arrived back at the cabin I was feeling better.

The time outside had been good for me and I was glad I'd decided to do it.

My father was drinking his mug of coffee, my mother doing up breakfast dishes. "Ten minutes top, Liam?" my father all but growled, holding the note in his fist. "We got up an hour ago to an empty cabin. You've got some explaining to do."

Liam looked guilty, shifting uncomfortably in place trying to come up with a response that would calm my seething father. "Dad, please." I said quietly. "I...I really needed to go outside. I needed...time to get used to it again."

My father looked at me, a look of pain on his face. I hate seeing my parents like that. Knowing it was me who caused them such angst killed me. "Are you sure?" he asked, tone low. I knew that if I said no there'd be hesitation in kicking out Liam.

I nodded my head, wanting to go back to my room and curl up as nausea and fatigue from abrupt exercise washed over me. I fought the urge and instead sat down at the kitchen table surprising just about everyone in the room. Myself included. What exactly was I doing here? Was I really doing that much better? Normally Liam forced me out of bed for an hour in the afternoon to play a game or two of chest. I didn't get up on my own like this. "Did I miss breakfast?"

Liam was still standing there awkwardly as if he wasn't sure if my father was still upset or not. "No darling, no." My mother looked at me, a shaky smile on her face, tears in her eyes as she leaned against the counter.

My throat felt thick as I saw her in such a state. "Please don't cry mom," I pled in a tearful tone. "If you do, I will. I'm sick of crying."

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, wiping away stray tears. "It's just... I was afraid I'd lost you forever."

I was sure that I'd been lost forever so I was at a loss of words for a moment. I racked my brain trying to think of something I could say to her. Preferably something true.

"I'm getting better," I promised. "Maybe by next week I'll be able to face everyone again?"

"Don't say that," my father snapped. "No one blames you for what happened. And there is no shame in it either. Everyone is just worried. They want their old Colton back."

Could he even come back? Was that possible? Or was I so broken, so far gone, that all hope for me was lost? My worry of the monster who ruined me coming to find me and finish what he started was a real fear and a real concern. But there was nothing I could do about it but learn to live with what happened and manage my fears. Which of course is easier said then done but I would get better. I had a motivation now: my future. I had a loving, caring mate that I wanted to take care of in the future.

And I wouldn't learn to be a good mate nor spouse curled in my bed; despite how comforting it seemed at the moment. Liam deserved better than that. And since he wanted me, despite my flaws, I'd just have to be better. And the only way for me to be better, is for me to get better.

~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~

For the next two weeks I pushed myself.

I would wake up earlier. I would assist my mother around the house the way I used to and yesterday, for the first time since my incident I went to the well in the center during the afternoon. Everyone asked me how I was, how I was doing, and told me it was great to see me again. Was it comfortable for me? No! Very far from it actually. But it was necessary. Of course nothing would, ever, truly be the same for me. Everyone knew what had happened and they'd shaped how they acted around me forever due to it. It was simply expected. My parents wouldn't shut up about how 'proud' they were of me and this and that; Liam was simply ecstatic I was going back to 'old' me.

No one really understood I'd never be the 'old' me. I knew too much know. I was hurt too badly. I experienced to much.

But I had a new concern gnawing at me. The odd sickness I got when I woke up until mid afternoon was ceaseless. In fact it was getting more and more troublesome. But I knew better than to tell my parents. Who knew what'd they do? They had just began to treat me like they used to. Thomas was still weird around me though, hardly talking to me, sometimes staring at me when he thought I wasn't looking. Liam claimed he was 'guilty' but I couldn't think of a reason why. I mean, yes I ran because he was being a jerk but it wasn't his fault. He didn't tell me to go where I did or let what happened happen. It was a coincidence. A horrible, horrible coincidence.

My feet would hurt in the morning along with my legs and back and hips. My scars would hurt too. Like they were being stretched but they weren't. It was all very weird and I hoped it'd go away before my parents caught on. I didn't know what it was and I was afraid I'd end up quarantined or something. Or worse, locked back in my room which I now found stiffling.

But I was getting better. The shame of the situation was going away. Slowly but surely. I began to realize that I wasn't as much to blame as I originally convinced myself that I was. And despite avoiding the woods like the fucking plague I was functioning almost completely normally. And Liam was beginning to leave again: going off hunting with his parents and training with Thomas. He was starting to relax some as the initial shock of the situation wore off and a new sense of normalcy was applied to our lives.

I was on the road to recovery and getting better and better each day. Nothing could get in the way.

**Fun Challenge: Comment what you think is wrong with Colton and what you think about it. First to get it right will get an honorable mention at the beginning of my next chapter: ~Seven~ Good luck**

-unedited-

Next Update: Thursday (3/26/15)