𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 (epistolary) ✓

49

Natapos na ang finals namin. I know I did a great job. I thought I would be relieved if our finals ended pero hindi pa pala.

Enzo and I had been casual naman to each other. Hindi niya rin inoopen up iyong mga tweets ko at replies niya sa twitter.

I just..I don't know who and how to open up. Natatakot akong baka makagawa ako ng maling desisyon.

I know I have my friends that I can cry with, I have my parents who I can lean on and I have Enzo whom I can trust. But, why do I still feel alone?

It's my first time being inlove. I guess? And, it's hard.

Pangarap at kinabukasan ko ang nakasalalay sa pagpipilian ko. I know I have to choose the other one for..myself.

I still have 3 semesters to finish before graduating and entering college. I still have a lot of time to think and enjoy the days with them and with him. But, why does it feel that I'm still running out of time?

Being a psychologist is my dream. Akala ko Manila lang ang choices ko but now that I have U.S, nahihirapan na ako. US is a blessing or a oppurtunity for me and for my future.

"Hey, anong iniisip mo? Finals is finish na." Enzo smiled.

"Pagod lang." I smiled a little.

"Kain tayo?" Aya niya.

"Mom's imviting you pala sa bahay. Sabi niya magluluto siya." Sabi ko nang maalala ko iyong bilin ni mommy kaninang umaga saakin.

"That's nice." He replied and started his engene.

Tahimik lang ako sa sasakyan at nag ttwitter. Tahimik rin naman siya. It's very unlikely for us.

"Ai, are we good?" Bigla niyang tanong.

I was caught off guard.

"O-Oo naman."

I don't want to lie, Enzo. I'm very sorry.

I'm thinking of how should I tell it to him. I know it's gonna be hard but I have to. I don't want to give him some false hopes.

"Enz, sigurado ka na saakin?" I suddenly asked.

I didn't saw his reaction because I was avoiding it. I know the answer but I hope he'd say no...for now. Even if it hurts.

"Oo naman. Siguradong sigurado." He firmly said.

How can I leave this man? How can I leave the man who's so sure of me?

"Enz, w-what if I leave after senior high?" I asked.

"It's okay. I'll wait as I promise." He replied without hesitation.

"Enz.."

"I know you'll leave for your dream, Aisha. I will wait and I will cheer for you kahit gaano man kalayo o kahit gaano man katagal." He said and smiled.

I want to call him mine now. But, there's something that's stopping me and it's US.

"U.S is a big oppurtunity, Aisha. It's for you dream." Enzo suddenly said.

"Ano? Y-You know?"

He confidently nodded. "I'll support you with that choice, Ai. I don't want to be that someone who'll stop you from your dreams or someone who'll stop you from dreaming. I want to be that someone who'll cheer for you until the end." He said and kissed my forehead.

Gosh, why is he so genuine?

"But, U.S is isn't my dream, Enzo." I said.

"Then, start dreaming for it." He replied and grabbed my hand. "I'll wait when you're ready." He smiled and we both left his car.

US is isn't really my dream in the first place. Makapasok lang ako ng UP o kaya UST ay ayos na saakin. Nahihirapan ako kasi alam kong magiging mabuti rin iyon para sa kinabukasan ko pero..hindi ko na alam!

I want to go but I don't want to go.