Perfectly Pink - An It's Always Been You Romance (Complete)

Chapter 37

Did Finn know Simon was leaving town? Her brother-in-law never mentioned it and Mary couldn't take the chance he didn't have the facts. The news wasn't hers to divulge. Besides, she couldn't break Finn's heart. "Where's Emily?" Bringing up her sister usually distracted Finn.

Not this time. Finn's alcohol-stained breath hit her cheek as he leaned in. "What did I do to make you hate me so much?"

Pain laced those words, and her heart lurched. This was more than the events of tonight, or the past few weeks. This was a deep wound, one that festered between the both of them for years. Her guilt over what she'd done coming to life before her in the pale face of yet another man she'd hurt.

Like everything tonight, she couldn't avoid this conversation either. Mary stepped into the study and waved her arm for Finn to follow. If he was going to shout, at least he could do it behind closed doors like a civilized person.

He brushed past her, heavy footsteps first on tile, then hardwood, the weight of the past seemingly on his shoulders. Finn aimed for the bar and grabbed a bottle filled with a dark amber liquid. Great. He was into the scotch. He'd been stewing on this for a while, probably the whole time she'd been at the Waterfront.

Shutting the study door, she moved to the center of the room and answered. "I don't hate you."

Finn narrowed his eyes and seethed. There was no other word for it. Mary could almost see the waves of animosity rolling off the man.

"I... I didn't like the idea of you." She turned away from his gaze, not able to meet it. "And I didn't know what to do."

Finn snorted. Mary resisted glaring back at him. She was tired of the brick of guilt she carried around over her actions. She knew she deserved his wrath, the constant reminder of her betrayal, but it coloured everything, every moment, in this house.

There was a time when this home had been full of life, coloured in a rainbow of emotions, sunny yellows, warm oranges, delightful blues, delicate purples, loveable pinks. This room, this study, had been a hive of happiness and harmony. Mary could still see Emily tucked into the window seat, reading her romance novels, Beth on the floor below her, playing with her dolls. Her father sitting on the couch perusing the newspaper, his arm around his mother, sneaking a kiss when they thought the children weren't looking.

What she wouldn't give to go back to those days, to feel safe and secure again in this house. In life. The way things were before her mother died. For all Mary's efforts, nothing ever got close to recapturing the past. She failed over and over to make her mother proud, to save the Montgomery legacy. Everything she did only managed to hurt others.

Tears threatened, and Mary straightened her back as Finn spat at her. "What gave you the right to do anything?"

If Finn wanted to talk about the past, then maybe it was about time they did. She pulled the plug on the powder keg she'd held on to for years and poured out everything to the one person who probably didn't give a damn about her. "There was no one around back then. No adult I could ask for help. Dad was there in body, but his mind and soul vanished in his grief over his loss. Our mother had just died."

"What does your mother have to do with me? I never met the woman."

"She would have known what to do. How to handle the situation."

His glass tumbler slammed against the wood of the table and the cluster of bottles shook with the movement. "What situation?"

"You. You disrupted everything, and I was scared." Finn's eyes bulged at her words. "Not of you. Not physically. Of what the two of you together meant. Someone had to step up and do what was right."

"Right?" Finn growled the word like he was ready to bite.

Mary forced herself not to flinch, focusing on the solid marble mantelpiece in front of her. She had to be cool like the marble. Explain. "Right for Emily."

Silence gripped the room. He didn't gripe or shout, so Mary pushed on, drawing on every ounce of strength she had left to keep her voice calm and even. "Emily is the best of us. The most like our mother in temperament, in beauty and in brains. Smart, talented, determined. She always wanted to be a lawyer; there was never any question. Wanted to fight injustice, make the world a better place. We were all proud of her, excited for her to go to university and start her life."

"Then she met you. And my sister changed. Because you." Mary felt Finn shift beside her, but forged forward. "She kept secrets from me. My little sister, who used to adore me, used to confide every thought to me started sharing them with you instead."

Daring to glance at him, Mary found eyes eerily similar to his brother's intent on her. Since she was being honest, she decided to get everything all out on the table.

"Yes Finn, I was jealous. Of you and of your relationship. It's not an excuse, just a fact. But my decision wasn't all about my envy. Emily's future was at stake."

"I was her future."

"Exactly. Emily put aside the plans we'd set in motion with our mother, rearranging her life for you, giving up her room in residency to live off campus. Missing out on the university experience, living with a roommate, making friends with similar interests. What was next?"

"I wouldn't have—"

"Maybe not intentionally. But you know Emily. She would do anything for you. Would you have gone to university events with her?" Finn's gaze fell to the floor, and she looked away, studying the carved marble before her. "No. You and I both know you're a loner. You always wanted Emily all to yourself, sequestering her day after day out in that boathouse. And I can't blame you."

Mary steeled herself for the tough part. "But that's not all."