Meet Me Here

Chapter 13: One More Light

Of course, she was upset. They all were and they were all tolerating the pain differently because they had to.

Yet, before Dr Hyun could do anything to comfort his wife, they heard a faint shout coming from their son's bedroom, his plea for help sending their hearts to their deaths as they reacted instantly.

Because when a child was distressed, the first person he would call was his mother.

"Eomma..." Hyun Bin pleaded from his bathroom, feeling absolutely weakened after his latest puking session.

His whole body felt hot all over again and his head was woozy. Already, his world threatened to tip over and he had to clutch at the edge of the toilet bowl to keep himself steady. The muffled sounds of footsteps pounded against his head before the door to the bathroom slammed open.

"Hyun Bin-ah!" His mother knelt next to him immediately, checking him over for any injuries.

"Eomma..." Hyun Bin croaked out, instinctively nuzzling his head against his mother's cool hands.

"You're burning up. Let's go to the hospital!"

"Eomma..."

Bit by bit, the world was fading in and out as Hyun Bin tried to stay awake. The faint buzzing in his head was comforting, as though it was calling him into the dark void that would release him from the chains of sickness and pain.

"Adeul? Adeul! Stay awake, you hear me?"

But he couldn't possibly have heard her because the sounds he was hearing was now muddled like the days he would plunge into the deep end of a swimming pool.

Minutes later, he could vaguely make out the passing view of the trees as the family rushed him to the hospital for the umpteenth time. They drifted above him, reminding him of the soft cotton clouds and his girlfriend's smile, calming, radiant and so very beautiful.

In his daze, Hyun Bin heard his mother's voice although he couldn't quite understand the meaning or the weight of her words.

"If we have to do it, we have to, for our son."

And that was the last thing he heard before his world went dark.

Beep...

Beep...

Beep...

The steady strum of the heart rate monitor gradually grew louder as Hyun Bin groaned and with that, the aches in his bones resurfaced, reminding him that he was still very much alive.

"Still?" The boy thought.

Even without fully understanding it himself, he was teetering on the edge of wishing for death's gracious hand to be laid upon him. 

"His condition is deteriorating again." He vaguely heard and he finally opened his eyes to study the same blank walls of the hospital.

Was it just him or were those white, pristine walls taking on a drearier shade of grey?

How long more does he have to do this?

The soft rumble of the sliding doors interrupted his dark musings as his parents walked in. Even without saying anything, Hyun Bin could tell that his mother had been crying, judging by her red-rimmed eyes.

"Adeul, you're awake!" She rushed to his side instantly.

Weakly, Hyun Bin smiled, simply to assure his mother despite the growing hollow in his heart. Behind her, his father strolled in, boring a firm frown as he occasionally let out a heavy sigh.

"How are you feeling, son?" His father asked.

"Sore." Hyun Bin admitted, drawing another heavy sigh from his father.

If we have to do it, we have to, for our son.

They have to do this. Hyun Bin has to live.

"Son, how do you feel..." Hyun Bin's father paused, choosing his next words wisely. "About moving to the US?"

Thick silence punctuated the room as Hyun Bin lifted his head to study his old man. The decision to move clearly wasn't as simple and the bright boy knew that there was more to what his father said than what meets the eye.

Perhaps he was physically tired, or perhaps he wished to hear the full story, but Hyun Bin waited for his father to speak again before he could react impulsively.

"A friend of mine contacted me recently. He...he has offered to help. I know it's difficult, but there's only so much this hospital can do." His father explained.

"What if I want to stay?" Hyun Bin spoke hoarsely.

But neither of his parents had an answer to that. If it were up to them, they would uproot their family in a heartbeat if it meant Hyun Bin's life could be spared. Unfortunately, it wasn't and the family didn't want to cause Hyun Bin more pain by taking him away from the town he grew up in against his will.

And in the root of it all, Hyun Bin's only concern was...Ye Jin.

How could he possibly leave his saving grace?

How could he leave his sunshine when he needed her to live?

How would Ye Jin take it if he told her he had to leave?

Could he even?

In truth, every cell in his body was screaming for him to stay with Ye Jin by his side, yet the rational side of him told him that he had to go. His condition wasn't improving and he knew that time wasn't on his side. In the event that he missed his opportunity...

It was their future at stake.

During that time, his parents left him to mull over his decision in peace. A part of him was numb to reality whereas the other part of him felt every wave of pain flowing straight into his heart acutely.

In the end, he was only another light in the universe; one that was dimming by the day, flickering with the threat of extinguishing. Who cares if his light goes out?

Was he being selfish by asking Ye Jin to stay by his side even when he hasn't told her his condition? Was he being selfish in giving himself false hope should he choose to leave and live?

Finally, was he a coward for wanting to stay despite knowing that he could very well die?

What could he possibly do? How could he make a decision about life and death?

The answer to that remained unclear and the boy found himself sending a text to the only person who could help him now.

In his last act of selfishness, Hyun Bin pressed the send button and leaned back against the pillows with his phone pressed against his heart.

Meet me at the bench in an hour?

Ding!

Arasseo. See you soon, babe.

Would his light dim or shine tonight?

☼ ☼ ☼

A/N

Childhood cancer isn't easy...It's a topic that many find difficult to bring up because it's so painful. And truly it is so a hug to anyone out there who has ever lost a child due to cancer. 

On a side note, I'm sorry if the updates for MMH is incredibly slow. It is emotionally difficult for me to write every chapter of MMH and it sometimes takes me weeks to recover from writing it too just like it takes me days to get into the mood. Hugs all for getting through another chapter and thank you as always, for waiting.