Feitan Imagines

I Love You?

Nights were the worst, they were lonely, dark and overall terrifying. You were never a fan of the dark, the idea that something could be lurking in the shadows, something you couldn't see. It made you jump at every little noise. Especially since Feitan used the dark to hide, watch you walk about his horribly lit apartment. Relishing in the noises you made when you thought you saw him out of the corner of your eyes, only to turn around and see nothing. You knew he loved that, to scare you, watch you jump when he wrapped his arms around your waist. You could sense his smile, his amusement. As horrible it was, it was better than the nights you had spent strapped to a metal exam table, only to be cut and prodded at. Those days made you shiver at the memory. Feitan could be cruel when he wanted to be, but at least his stalking of you around his home didn't involve your blood covering his hands.

This night was the hardest in a while, Feitan had been gone for a few weeks on a mission. He didn't give you details, but you knew that was for the best. The last time you learned about what he did for a living, you couldn't keep your food down, unable to let him near you. All of which only angered him, threatening to bring you back to that metal hellhole. As much as Feitan had done you wrong, torture, kidnapping, mental abuse. You still missed him when he was gone. Missed his touches, his company as distant as it was. Just being around another human rather than alone in this terrifying, dark apartment. As twisted as Feitan was, as horrible the things he had down to you was. He was still the only one you had contact with, the only person you saw and talked to. The only one who offered any comfort to you now.

As you wait on your bed, too scared to step off the bed unless it was to the bathroom down the hall. And your once a day meal in the kitchen. It had been so long since he left, it had felt like forever, even if it had been just been a few weeks. Curling into yourself, the thought of Feitan arriving was all that filled your mind. He didn't give you an exact date he would be back, or only an exact number of weeks he'd be away. Just stating it would be more than a month, but most likely less than two. The loneliness was beginning to get to you, tears spilt down your cheek. Trying to hug yourself as a form of some comfort. That's when you felt the bed dip, something was sitting right behind you. You knew it was Feitan, but you were so scared. The idea that it could be something worse was taking over your thoughts. Pushing more tears down your cheeks, losing the ability to breathe. Feitan placed his hand on your back, making small circles with his thumb. "It's me." He allowed you to get your breathing even and for your tears to slow down. Once he deemed it was enough, he slowly turned you over so you were laying on your back looking up at him. His stern eyes met your red and puffy ones. His expression was his usual, one that looked bored, or one just lacking in emotion.

He kept touching you, stroking your side. His eyes never left yours. You wanted to say something, welcome him home even. But you couldn't, you opened your mouth and nothing came out. "You okay?" He asked while raising an eyebrow. His hand slowly made its way to your cheek, caressing it slowly. Leaning into it, closing your eyes, it felt so nice to be touched again. Your eyes shot open when you felt his hand begin to squeeze your cheek. You needed to answer him before his anger grew. "I-I, I missed. That's a-all." His grip loosened, going back to tender strokes. "I'm home." Curling into his figure, trying to gain more of his touch. "I, I know. I missed you." He let out a hum at your statement, allowing you to gain more physical contact.

You were getting tired, from all the crying and excitement of Feitan being home. He saw that, moving you on the bed to allow himself to lay next to you. Your foreheads were resting against each other as the two of you laid on your sides. This felt so perfect like you were completely at peace. You could forgive Feitan for everything he had done to you as long as the two of you stayed like this. Stayed in this position, like you were actual lovers and not captor and victim. "I love you." Those words escaped your lips, you weren't even sure where they came from. Suddenly, you felt Feitans body stiffen against yours. Worrying took over your mind. Did you cross a line? Was he going to punish you? You thought he wanted a lover, wanted you two to be like you guys were in a normal relationship? You tried to take the words back, but Feitan's lips crashed against yours before you could get any full words out. The kiss felt so tender, so soft, full of love. Nothing you had ever experienced with him before. You couldn't help but melt into his kiss. The feeling of safety took over, Feitan was the last person who should have made you safe. Yet he did. You kissed back, wanting more, wanting it to never end, but it did. He pulled back, staring into your eyes. "Good." It wasn't the answer you were looking for, but you knew Feitan wasn't good with his emotions. But that kiss had told you everything you needed to know. That Feitan loved you back.

While you slept that night, Feitan couldn't help, but to stay up. Not due to work, not because he was busy planning something, but rather cause the words you told him were running through his head. You were finally loving him back, you weren't faking it. Maybe it was the Stockroom Syndrome setting in, but he didn't care. You said you loved him, you told him how you missed him. You had finally accepted that you were his. That was all he ever wanted. Was for you to love him back as much as he loved you. As Feitan looked over your sleeping form, he couldn't help, but smile. Something that was foreign to his face. You are the love of his life and now you loved him back.