Feitan Imagines

Sink or Swim

Love was a concept that you weren't sure Feitan understood. At least, it wasn't the same love you had experienced with past partners. No, Feitan's "love" was rough, aggressive and had an urge to consume you fully. Even if you put up a fight, his love still managed to find a way to devour you. After all, it was your need to refuse him that put you in this position. All he wanted to do was place his arms around while you two sat on the sofa while watching an old movie, but no. You had to flinch at his touch, trying to place space between the two of you. All you could full remember was the silence that followed after your initial flinch, then pain on your head and suddenly you were out. Waking up tied to a flat levelled metal table. Confused was a simple word to describe your worry, usually, he gave a warning of some sort. Letting you know he was upset or disproved of your actions. But no, there was no such warning you could remember.

The sound of a door opening caught your attention, even though you were unable to crane your neck fully towards the sound, it was him. After all, this was Feitan's "work" room. The memories of the first few weeks you had spent here were frightening, you tried to forget them. But now you were back and so were the memories. Though most of the physical scars had almost completely faded. The mental ones were always there in the back of your mind. Though now they were shoving their way forward. The nights he refused to let you sleep, the longest was 4 days you think, though it could of been a week. Time was hard to tell when there were no windows. Feitan loved keeping you sleep-deprived, especially when you were so desperate to sleep that you would agree to anything he wanted if it meant he would let you sleep for a few hours. Typically it was simply just letting him touch you, whether it be simply petting your hair, or exploring your body. Then there was when he liked to glide his knives over your skin, occasionally leaving cuts. Though his real purpose was to see the fear in your eyes rather than see your blood on his knife.

Feitan's face over yours had suddenly brought you back to the present. He was impossible to read, his face was always the same, emotionless and looking slightly bored. Before you could speak and ask what was going on. He decided to speak. "Bad". It was a simple observation. He always hated how you were opposed to his affection. But how could you accept it so easily? One minute he was trying to cuddle with you, the next he had you tied to a table to do who knows what type of torture. Maybe you could ease his anger, maybe if you showed you were sorry he would take it easy on you. Or at least easier. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't-". "Don't care. Bad" Feitan cut you off before you could get your apology out. There was nothing that could save you from his anger now. You would just have to take it and learn to not flinch too much next time.

You couldn't help the tears that fell down your cheeks as you heard Feitan gathering supplies around the room. You silently said your prayers, wishing it would be over soon. That he'd take it easy on you. Silent prayers you knew would be left unanswered as you were in the hands of Feitan. He was your merciless god, he held your life in his hands, he controlled whether you lived or died.

Suddenly Feitans hands brushed away your tears. It was these tender moments that made you feel like maybe you could love him. Love this monster that took you away from your life. From your friends and family. From everything, you knew and loved. But these sweet moments where Feitan showed you he could be more than the monster you thought he was. You could love him, you really could. But that was quickly destroyed when Feitan repositioned the metal table. It was now on an incline, your head was lower than it was before. The fear was all coming back, no you couldn't love this monster. "Feitan please. Don't please I-". "Shut up" As much as you wanted to beg, beg for mercy, for forgiveness. You shut your mouth. Your begging would just make it worse. Make him angrier with you.

Feitan placed a small towel over your face. A part of you knew what was most likely going to happen, but no, he wouldn't go that far. He wouldn't waterboard you. But as he began to pour water over the towel you realized just how wrong you were for thinking he'd spare you from any kind of torture. You coughed as the water fell over your face. Unable to breathe, but he kept going. Adding more and more water. It was long till you drowned the first time. Only to be revived by him, he gave you a few moments to gave your breath before he did it again, and again and again. You lost track after about four times. Each time he began to pour to water again, you wondered if it would be the last time. Maybe he wouldn't be able to bring you back this time. But he did. Finally, it was the last time. He brought you back and set you up. Watching as you coughed and coughed. He even helped to ensure there was no water left in your lungs, making sure you wouldn't drown in your sleep from it. You just sat there, unsure of what had just happened. Why this punishment was one of the most extreme he had put you through, and for what? For accidentally flinching from his touch. As much as you wanted to yell at him, to tell him this wasn't how you got someone to love them. You kept your mouth closed. Scared he would lay you back down again if you spoke up. Instead, all you could do was whisper a sorry. Feitan grabbed a towel and wrapped you in it. Lifting you and carrying you out of the room. He placed a kiss on your head, muttering a "good girl" as he carried you out.

Although, he had put you through one of the worst torture sessions you had gone through with him. You couldn't help but melt in his touch as he began to dry you off in the bathroom. Undressing you, wrapping the warm towel around your body. Though it was hard to ignore his fingers lingering in certain areas. But you had learned not to flick away from him. It was better to just let him amuse himself. After all, you should have known this was coming, Feitan always got worked up after a torturing session. Leaving him to find you and initiate something intimate. Sitting on the edge of the tub while he lifted our legs to dry them, you knew all his touches weren't necessary for drying you off. Especially so high on your thighs. Looking at him, your eyes were filled with anything, but hate. You knew it was wrong, but you wanted the kinder Feitan. The one who touched you like he truly loved you. "Feitan." He paused drying you, tightening his grip on your thighs. He was probably waiting for you to tell him to stop. But after what you went through, you'd be an idiot to tell him to stop. "I-I really am sorry. I shouldn't have acted like that. It was rude." There was no reply from him, but he continued to dry you. his touches went back to being tender. You hummed in response.

Feitan took his time drying you, roaming your nude body, feeling everything he could. He then lifted your still side body to the bedroom. Laying you down so softly, layer blanket after blanket on you. After he disappeared, only to return in nothing but a pair of boxers. Getting under the covers with you. He spooned you, gripping your waist to pull you closer to him. Once again his hands roamed, groping your chest. You didn't mind, you were far too tired to do anything back. Even as you felt Feitan pull his boxers down a bit you didn't fight back. If he was being tender you would allow him to do as he, please. As you drifted off to sleep, you let out an "I love you." What you could see was Feitan's smirk as began to position himself. He knew he had finally broken you, he had finally gotten the lover he always knew you could be.