The Unexpected

19 || The Valley

*Harry Styles's american voice* I'm from the valley!

ahaha okay bye. enjoy!

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Any person that you go to for advice when you're feeling low will tell you one, basic concept that everyone in the world can agree on: you have your valleys and you have your mountain tops. Highs and lows. Good days and bad days. Neither last forever, and you can always make it through the bad by hoping for some good to come soon.

My life is the epitome of a valley right now. I'm laying in bed at home, rehashing the incident that happened outside of some dumb club in the city, over and over again in my head. Last night was a nightmare.

"I miss you," Michael said.

"And what does that fix? What does that change. I've said this before and I'll say it again. I don't belong in your guys' lives. You've made it very obvious to me that I was right."

"Stop! Stop with all of this whole "two separate universes" shit. I'm tired of it Skye. If our worlds are so impossible to combine, then explain why I'm here, having this conversation with you, right now. If it's so wrong that we know each other, then why am I the happiest I've ever been?" the tall boy exploded. I didn't have any words. He was right, but he wasn't allowed to be.

"We don't work! Just leave me alone. You all were out having a great time, don't let me ruin it. I have my own friends that belong in my life now," I screamed between sobs. We made a scene. People stared at the celebrity having a fight with some nobody.

He started to speak up, but I didn't let him. I took off running, and that time, he didn't follow me.

I don't remember how I ended up back home, or when I stopped crying. I feel empty and there's no more tears left for me to cry. I shouldn't have pushed him away, but I did. Don't ask me why, because I don't know why.

I've been laying in bed all day, trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I've come to the conclusion that it's a lot; a lot is wrong with me. I'm a mess, and it's ruining everything. Everything Michael said last night was true but I didn't care. I wanted this to happen. I just had to be the victim. I always put myself in a place where I know everything will go to crap, and I never do anything about it.

It's time to stop being a mess.

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I pause the music that's being blasted in the living room as I clean. I can hear someone repeatedly knocking on the door, trying to get my attention.

Yesterday was one of my most pathetic, but today I started to make a change. I woke up at seven, made some coffee, then sat down to spend some time with the man upstairs. I cleared my head, and sorted some things out. I read the story of Job today, and it was a real wakeup call. I'd been told this story many times in church growing up, but I never actually comprehended what was going on in it.

Job was a pretty wealthy man living in some place called Uz with his huge family and a bunch of his livestock. He was "blameless" and "upright," and always careful to avoid doing wrong. One day, Satan appears before God in heaven and God brags about how great Job is. Satan then argues that Job is only good because God has blessed him with so much. Satan swears that if Job lost everything, Job would turn and curse God. God agrees to let Satan torment Job, but He forbids Satan to take Job's life.

In just one day, Job is told that his livestock, servants, and ten children have all died for different reasons. Job mourns, but he still blesses God in his prayers. Next, Job is afflicted with horrible skin sores. The only person he has left is his wife, and she continually badgers him and tries to get him to curse God. No matter what was going wrong; no matter how many reasons Job had to curse God, he never did.