The Unexpected

37 || The Decision

I wake up feeling like I've been hit by a bus; or ten. Glancing at my phone, I think to call Charlotte, but remember that her and Jack are going on a day trip somewhere.

She doesn't even know what's happened. The last thing she saw was me heading over to talk to Michael about the communication problems in our relationship... Now we don't even have a relationship.

Calling him and ending things is probably the adult thing to do, but I'm not ready. I know that the second I see his stupid, adorable face or hear his annoying, cute accent I'll break down and forgive him. Even though he's an idiot and a jerk, I still love him. I think that I'll always love him, no matter what happens in the future.

When someone gives you the world, it's kind of hard to just forget about them. All of the time spent with them made you a slightly different person, for better or for worse, and they will always be a part of you. Someone that had so much significance in your life can't be erased; not entirely. They're those pencil marks that leave an engraving long after the led has been erased.

I try to have quiet time but my mind won't stop racing. Any attempt at finding a distraction fails. Playing guitar and writing only frustrates me. Watching TV is too still for the energy inside of me. The hunt for something to eat leads me to going to a cafe, but that only keeps my mind off of things for a small while.

I get some food and eat it slowly, trying to waste time. Not ready to head home, I wander around the shopping centre where I work. I stumble into a few stores and buy several things, no real need for any of it. I end up calling my mom to talk, and the conversation goes on for a couple hours.

"Do you want to come home?" she suddenly asks, offering an option that never once crossed my mind. "It doesn't have to be permanent. You could just be here for Christmas. I know your brother misses you. And your sister does secretly."

"I'll think about it..." I say, meaning it.

Charlotte is going to be gone soon, leaving me with no one. Christmas is in only three weeks, and I could use a break from all of this. I hang up the phone and walk back to my apartment, needing to fully consider this.

The minute I walk through my door, that cold, empty feeling surrounds me again. I need to get out of here.

In my closet I find my giant carry-on bag and a small suitcase. Grabbing warm clothing, I begin to fill the bags with my necessities and multiple extras. It takes me a while but I locate a heavy jacket and shove that into the bigger luggage. My guitar gets put inside its case and soon I'm zipping up my bags.

I pull out my laptop and schedule a flight for tomorrow afternoon then call my mom to give her the times. The boys pop into my head, and I consider telling them, but decide against it. I need to think of myself right now and no one else. Some distance will help me clear my head.

With my decision made, I head back out to go buy Christmas presents for my family.

_______________

"You're sure about this?" Charlotte asks as we sit in the car in front of the terminal.

"Positive."

She gives me a long hug before wishing me luck. I open the car door and then the trunk, retrieving my bags. I clip my carry-on to my bigger bag and roll them over to the QANTAS ticket counter.

After checking my bag and printing my boarding pass, I make my descent to the gate that's written on my ticket. My flight is scheduled to depart in an hour, setting me up to be home in twenty-two.

The memory hits me like a train as I find myself standing by the currency exchange. My eyes dart over to the exact spot that I was standing in almost five months ago, on the verge of an anxiety attack. And in that very spot, a certain platinum haired boy spotted me and brought me into a world I never thought I'd experience.