Loving Jaxton ✔️

epilogue 2

I open the bathroom door back up and see Jax sleeping shirtless in our bed. He's laying on his stomach with his arm under my pillow where I left him. He's softly snoring and it makes Maddie giggle when he does. She laughs so hard that she makes me laugh and I have to put my hand over her mouth to get her to stop. She only laughs harder when she points to my mouth and starts imitating snoring like her dad.

"Maddie!" I scold as she giggles her little contagious laugh and leans into my shoulder. I go to walk to the door but Jax's voice stops me.

"What's my girls up to this morning?" He asks flipping over to look at me with Maddie in my arms. Her face brightens when she sees him awake and she immediately leaves my arms with her little toy and makes her way to her dad. She gets to the side of the bed and holds up her arms to get his attention before he lifts her up and throws her into the air making her giggle. When she gets down he hugs her into his chest and kisses her cheek making my heart crack with love for the man I married.

He puts her between our sides of the bed and throws the sheets over her as he rubs her back. "Come on Mamma!" She exclaims making Jax laugh as I sigh and make my way over to the bed. Thankfully Lance is still sound asleep in his crib so it's just us. I lay back down next to them and avoid looking at Jax as I kiss the back of Maddie's hair.

Not even five minutes later she's out. She's asleep on Jax's pillow cuddling into his chest as he rubs her back. She's always going to be a daddy's girl, I know it.

"What's wrong?" He whispers reaching for me as he grabs my face in his hand. He turns it towards him as I shake my head no and close my eyes.

"I'm okay. I promise." I whisper back containing my tears as I close my hands around my face.

"Don't lie to me. We both agreed we wouldn't do that anymore months ago." He tells me as I sigh.

"I don't know. I really don't know. We have everything and I should be happy, but I don't know why I'm not." I whisper out telling him how I feel.

"Ry" he whispers reaching for me to rub my face as I grab his hand and stop him. "No just please don't." I tell him back moving out of the sheets and to the bathroom. I leave him with Maddie as more tears whelp in my eyes as I go sit on the closed toilet seat crying my eyes out.

Not even two minutes later he's sitting down on the floor in front of me holding my knees while I cry my eyes out. "Ry baby, tell me what's going on" he whispers rubbing my thighs as I move my hands away from my face to look at him.

"I don't know. I really don't." I whisper breaking down. "The what's with the tears?" He asks rubbing my face in his big calloused hand that feels so good.

"I don't know. I'm so happy. I really am. But I'm so worried about everything. I don't know but I'm not okay mentally and I don't know why I'm not." I whisper out to him as he slows his hands down on my thighs.

"Is it me? Sex? Maddie? Your job? Lance? Money?" He asks as I shake my head no and reach for him. I wrap my arms around his neck holding him as I cry into his shoulder softly.

"It's nothing. I don't know. I'm just so sad." I whisper softly.

"When did this start?" He asks rubbing my neck as I cry into his shoulder harder. "About a month ago." I whisper rubbing his shoulder as I close my eyes. He rubs my back under his hand and pulls up my tank as he moves his hand along my back.

"And you're just sad? Like crying? Or what?" He asks me.

"Randomly crying for no reason. I can't control it." I whisper as he pulls away. He stares in my face as he wipes my tears. "Ry" he whispers rubbing down my arms as I continue crying for no reason at all.