split || dreamwastaken x reader

22 | URGES

I feel like I'm the only person who hadn't seen the signs. Or maybe I had and I chose to ignore them over the years. The two of us have picked different people over each other for so long I guess I never thought he could see me that way. He never took the step to ask if we were ever going to be more than friends. It was kind of just an unspoken mutual agreement to ignore our feelings.

I had let my feelings simmer for so long that the fuse that had been set a light many years back had fizzled to almost out. I felt like I was dud until that night he confessed his love. It was like he ignited a spark and set a whole fire a light inside of me. The fizzled fuse had finally been lit to fiery glow in the deepest part of my being. A glow that has yet again been dimmed with a tampered fuse.

I walk away from the conversation with Clay's mom having a million questions floating around in my head. I wanted to be an open can of worms, a mind full of word vomit. But Clay was preoccupied when I opened the door to his room. Mum was the word when he was in focus mode. Even in this time where attention and affection was all I craved.

A little distraction couldn't help though, could it?

My fingertips tap against one of Clay's shoulders as I walk them down to the back of his hand. His eyes falter for a moment, drifting off his screen to see what in the world I was up to. Distract just enough for attention, but not enough to pull focus. It was always the goal. Let him do his job and do it well, and have fun while doing it.

His eyes snap back to his computer as Sapnap appears on his screen out of no where. Clay lunges forward towards his computer as he meticulously guides his character through the world of Minecraft, swinging his axe and sword at Nick.

My fingers trail back up his arm, across his shoulders, and down the other arm as I walk slowly around him. His eyes drift again as he gets away from the men trying to attack him. I see his jaw tense as he bites down trying not to lose focus. He's struggling I can tell, but I don't want to stop.

"Fuck." He mumbles under his breath as he shoots his daggers in my direction. It's a warning to beware, don't tempt anymore. I like playing with fire, it's why it's burning inside of me always. I love a challenge, I fight against my urges. They're too strong to hold off.

I lower my lips to his neck and plant soft kisses against the hot surface. My arms graze up against the bare skin on his forearms as I suck against the skin below my lips. He tries to fight the moan trying to break its way to the surface but it's no use. It's coming with power. A low groan comes out as he tries to disguise his moan for his friends... and fans.

I chuckle against the bruise left behind as I pull my lips away from his skin. I admire my work as I run my fingers through the back of his hair. I'm fighting the urge to pull his headset off and whisper sexual sweet nothings in his ear. I know it's too far but there's something so inviting in this moment. He's in his habitat looking so focused, so sexy.

This feeling hasn't held in my chest for awhile. I haven't felt the urge to devour my man in so long that I can't help myself. I need to act on the feelings fighting their way to the surface. Touching him alone is making me want to touch myself. It's like I'm fighting a battle I will never win.

I can sense the fire burning its way to the surface. I can feel it in every bone in my body. My heart thumps so hard in my chest that it's making swallowing difficult. My breath is shallow like my lungs are full of smoke. The feeling is euphoric and I know it's only there because I want to make love to the man I... love.

Without notice, a moan escapes past my lips. I haven't had a single touch from this man or myself and I'm already moaning in pleasure. The thoughts billowing in my mind have me hypersensitive to any stimulation. Simple images running through my mind have me keeling over in pleasure. I need my fucking fix before I lose myself fully clothed on my own.