DON'T I DESERVE TO BE LOVED ✔

CHAPTER -20

I was confused about her behaviour. So I sent a guard to collect details regarding Eun-mi’s parents. That's when I came to know how Eun-mi had been treated by her parents all her life and Eun-mi never agreed to our marriage. It was a forced marriage on her side as well and not like what Len-ah told me. 

I was very much blinded by Len-ah that I never tried to find out about Eun-mi's side of the story. Len-ah's story making was to the point of making me disgusted just by hearing the name of Eun-mi. But now I know that I was nothing but a fool and the real disgusting one is Len-ah. 

I regret being a jerk to Eun-mi every passing second. She had already gone through so much because of her parents and I added up to her miseries. 

I don't know how she got to know Jungkook but I could see the love between those two and I was truly happy for her, knowing she is in safe hands now and living her life happily.

Why does God have to take away her happiness like this? 

In further thoughts, I will take this as a chance to seek her forgiveness and payback for her kindness towards me. I want to protect her at all costs.

So now, I was hesitant to let Eun-mi's mother inside Eun-mi's cabin.

"It is not a good time to see her. She is not in the state to listen to anyone", I told her mother, trying to stop her from seeing Eun-mi.

Mrs.Lee looked at my eyes and said, "I will bring her back to her senses"

She said with so much determination and confidence that something in me told me that I should let her see Eun-mi. 

I was battling myself but ended up nodding at her, allowing her to see Eun-mi, thinking she might bring some emotions from her whether it's a good or bad one. 

She bowed to me showing her respect and went inside Eun-mi's chamber. I stayed outside the chamber, ready to barge inside in case any abnormal activities from her mother were sensed.

I know that Mrs.Lee was talking to Eun-mi even though I didn't hear what she was saying. But after a few minutes, I heard Mrs.Lee shouting at Eun-mi for being the worst.

Just when I hurried to open the door, the door of the chamber opened itself and out came Mrs.Lee with tears in her eyes. She once again bowed towards me and ran off from the place. 

When I went inside Eun-mi's chamber to see what she was doing, I smiled. She was eating. She was finally eating the food I kept beside her bed. 

But she kept on mumbling something in between each bite of food.

Eun-mi's pov:

I was just laying on my bed counting every second that had passed without Jungkook by my side. When I could finally go to him, I had to get back at him for leaving me alone here. So I am keeping a count of the time he led me to live alone. 

Once again someone entered my chamber and I know it's going to be a piece of advice to move on and accept life without Jungkook. So I didn't even care to look at who it was. Until I hear someone scoff at me. I turned and looked at the one who interrupted my counting. To my surprise, it was my birth mother.

Why is she here? She still had that uninterested face whenever she looked at me. So I did not hold eye contact with her anymore and turned towards the ceiling, continuing to count. That's when she started.

"The audacity you have", She said and scoffed again. 

I didn't understand what she was saying and I had no interest in it either. So I continued my counting ignoring her presence just like her ignorance towards me. 

But she was adamant as always and continued, "The audacity you have calling me a bad mother when you are worse than me" 

Her words made creases appear on my eyebrows in confusion. What does she mean? 

I understood what she meant when she explained, "At least I took care of you when you were in my womb and until you were born. But here you are completely ignoring your child's needs even before it is born. You are the most selfish person I have ever known. You only think of yourself and your pain. You are killing your child along with yourself but you don't care" 

I know I am being selfish. But I can't live without Jungkook. 

As she heard my thoughts out loud. She continued, "So what, you can't live without Jungkook that you are going to starve yourself and die? And then go and meet the love of your life? Then tell me, what should I have done, if the love of my life left me because I couldn't give him a male child and went to other women. Where should I die and go to get my love back? TELL ME", She shouted at me

"If l am the worst mother you are worse than me. YOU ARE THE WORST ONE AMONG US", saying that she left my chamber making me feel guiltier towards my child.

I am not anything like her. How can I not think about my child? Am I really like my mother? 

No, I don't want to be like her. I should live for my child. I am not anything like my mother. I don't want to be like her. I won't ignore my child as she did. 

With that thought, I got up and took the food which was kept beside the cot. I started eating the food with my trembling hands. 'I am not like her. I will never be like her', I promised myself to not be like my mother to my child. 

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Finally, Eun-mi's mother is of some use.
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