My Quiet Place

Chapter 27: Faith

"Oh my God, you have no idea how glad I am to hear your voice," I say. 

"Annika where are you, we...I was worried" I pull back the phone slightly from my ear. We?

"Look, I'm safe I just brought Anna back to the shelter---" 

"Don't move; I'll be there in a split second." She hangs up the phone, perplexed. I returned Maria's phone and sat down on one of the sofas to ponder. How is it possible that Matteo always finds me when I'm in trouble? I'm not sure how he got there; one second I'm tossed out, the next he's coming after me. When I talk about 'mess', this is what I mean. But if someone genuinely loved the individual, they wouldn't let them go, no matter what.

And although he might've brought heaven to me...It was hell he left behind. 

I'm not sure how I'm dealing with it anymore. It's incomprehensible. As I'm really weary, I slowly put my head on the sofa. Tears stream down my cheeks, as I close my eyes. 

There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but I have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well. I know I'm going to make it. It'll be hard but I'm going to make it. 

I constantly make an effort to make people happy because I know what it's like to feel completely useless and I don't want anyone else to feel that way. That's just who I am, and I can't alter it. I distance myself from those who love me because I am afraid I may harm them, yet I am also lonely.

I'm simply sick of running, but it's the only thing I know how to do. I'm not afraid of change. I am terrified of the unknown. I am concerned about the future.

It may appear like I'm fine with the entire Mafia thing, but I'm not. It's difficult to believe that my father and Matteo are criminals. But I have no control over what they do. I love my father, but I have to do this for me. You might say I'm clinging to the past, yet it stalks me every day. I feel like I'm dying bit by bit, and no one is there to help me because I refuse to accept their care.

Yes, I'm happy to be out of an abusive marriage, but what if the people I care about are harmed as a result? 

After a time, I felt as if I were being carried. It was most likely my dream playing tricks on me and I burrow further into the warmth of the sofa. When is Ruby going to come?

I gently open my eyes to be welcomed with warm brown eyes that are quite familiar to me. It's amazing how dreams can trick your mind into believing a scenario is so genuine. I softly grin, running my thumb along his skin and resting my hand on his cheek. "I wish this was true," I murmur, my gaze never leaving his.

I laid my head on his neck, healing his fragrance, which smelt just like him. How can a sofa smell so much like his intoxicating scent? "I want to run into your arms and remain there forever," I say, "but in reality, you'd simply lock the door and leave me out in the rain."

What is it about this that makes it feel so real? "I-I have to wake up soon. You're a jerk for abandoning me, and I'll probably never forgive you" I close my eyes again. Only when I feel soft kisses running down my neck when I realise this isn't a dream.

I leap in surprise, only to collide with something. "ouch" I glance up, and it's the roof of a vehicle. "I'm being kidnapped," I exclaim in disbelief. Someone rubbed my head, and I looked to my side, gasping. "You're always getting yourself hurt, gattino," my eyes widen in surprise. I'm sitting on Matteo's lap, looking at him; he's expressionless.

I instantly got off his lap, which I'm sure irritated him, but I don't care. I'm not aware of what's going on. I attempted to open the car door, but it was locked. "Open this door," I cry, tears streaming down my face. "No," he answered without hesitation.