Chapter 14

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The sunlight breaking through the blinds woke me. I hoped it had all been a dream. That i would open my eyes and be in my cell with Pietro in the next. Because even though i hated being trapped, when he was there, i didn't feel trapped. But, alas, when i open my eyes, my hopes came crashing down. I rolled over to my other side and found another screen attached to the wall above the bed side table. I tapped the screen, Fridays voice wishing me a good morning. It wasn't. The screen displayed the time first and then the different operations. I went through the same procedures as last night, opening the blinds, turning on the lights. I hated to admit it but this place was pretty cool. I slowly got out of bed and peered out the large windows. The screen had read 7:32 but the streets were already busy. Business' were just opening and people were heading to work like a city hadn't just been completed destroyed whilst trying to fight a rogue robot. But i guess it didn't effect them. 

I had half a mind to stay holed up in this room for the day, for the rest of the year, rest of my life. However, the smell of bacon was drifting upstairs and my taste buds yearned for it after a year of eating the same food. I reluctantly made my way down the stairs to find Tony over a sizzling pan in the kitchen. He didn't even turn around when i entered. "You like bacon?" He asked. "Yeah." I replied. Tony plated himself a bacon sandwich and then one for me. He placed them on the table and we sat down, eating our food in silence. The salty taste pleased my taste buds and i eagerly took another bite. "I'm surprised your up this early. Usually i'm the only one up at this time." Tony said after a while. "Yes well, we were always woken up early, had a strict schedule to stick too." I told him. He took another bite and had a thoughtful look on his face. "Was it like that in the red room?" He asked. I hadn't answered his question but i guess he had just decided it must be true. Did he know the details of what happened in the red room or just that we were taught to fight well? I doubted Nat had been descriptive and i think if she had, we would be having a very different conversation right now. The red room was a place of dark manipulation. Some of the things that had happened there, I would never speak of. The person I had been, I could never be reminded of.

 Once we were both finished, Tony took the plates to the dishwasher. Now that there was nothing else to do, Tony looked around awkwardly. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Look, i think we need to talk. Properly." He said. I was right. I knew he wouldn't want me around and already he was going to get rid of me. 

I leant on the chair. "You want me to go" I guessed with hope. I admitted this place was cool but that didn't mean i now wanted to stay. I hated being trapped and controlled like i have been my whole life and now if Tony lets me go, i can be free. Go anywhere, be anything, do anything i want. Like me and Pietro had fanaticized about...except he wouldn't be with me. Tony furrowed his brows and shook his head. "What? No, no, you can stay." He said. I sighed. "You don't have to pretend you want me here." I muttered. "I'm not pretending anything." Tony insisted. "Your my...daughter." i could see him struggle to say the word and once he had it sounded like a foreign word to him. "I need to look after you because that is what parents do." I couldn't help but scoff. "That's not true. Parent's don't need to look after their kids, they choose to." I said through gritted teeth. I was trying to keep my temper under wraps, there was no point arguing over this. "Ok fine. Then i choose to look after you." Tony announced, leaning on the back of his chair. "And for your information, i always would have." He informed me. I swallowed and muttered. "Then why didn't you?" I asked, i could handle the answer. 

It took him a while to answer, he hung his head and took a deep breathe. "Clara, i didn't know if you were still in England and if you were, where in the country. I didn't know who you were. I wasn't even sure the name your mother had given me was your real one." He told me. "I came to my senses, matured and realized i had a daughter out there. I promise you, i tried to find you- a few years later, but your mother," He sighed, "She wasn't someone easy to find." Just because he tried once, that didn't change anything. "After a while, i gave up. I thought it was for the best that i wasn't in your life because i was bound to mess you up." I sniffed and internally laughed at the irony. "Ye well, i was messed up plenty anyway." I mumbled as i walked away. I stayed the rest of the morning in the bedroom. There was nothing for me to do but get swallowed in my thoughts. I stared out the window to the city below whilst Pietro's face flashed in my mind. I could still remember every note of his voice, every detail of his face but i feared one day i wouldn't. So i tried hard, burning it into my mind. I wanted to forget he ever existed, to stop this constant pain, but i didn't really want to forget him. My mind was battling between trying to not remember and trying to remember every word he ever said to me. 

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