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I am a fucking idiot

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I am a fucking idiot.

I knew I should of listened to Roman when he said not to grab a random lady from the streets, all because I found her interesting.

Mars Matthews, a sassy and sarcastic girl that I want to tame but it seems to be going the other way.

She is turning me fucking soft.

I don't know why I can't scold her when she does something wrong.

Not once in my life of being a Mafia leader have I let a person walk away after punching me or holding me at gun point.

Yet I watch her walk away, her hips swaying and her hair bouncing with every step she takes to the bar.

I wanted to make her jealous, fuck I don't know why but she is better than me in this game.

If that's what you call it.

When she danced with that fucking blonde bitch, I had to clench my hands so that I didn't grab my gun and shoot him.

Ryder would call me whipped.

Ryder has been acting weird since she arrived. Distancing himself away from her and not talking much.

Where as my brother, Roman, seems to like having a person to bicker with. He takes her as a little sister, only been 2 years older than her.

At 26, I have experienced more than I should of. I haven't been in a relationship ever since junior year at high school.

I never went to college because I was being forced to kill people, torture them and fight.

It's not what I wanted to be, but it's not like I had a choice.

Mars had this confident aura about her. Walked around the place, not giving a shit about what people has to say about her and that is a huge turn on.

The day of the shooting, when I heard her yell out a bunch of shit, I had to hold in my smile. She was confident, not like any other fucker who would cry or whimper at the sight of a gun.

Her fucking obsession with them.

I snap out of my thoughts when a hand touches my arm and I turn around to see Rachel, my date. I thought I did something when I picked her, to maybe make Mars jealous so I could see that side of her.

I tried looking for someone more prettier than Mars, but I couldn't.

Mars just beat me at my own game, dancing with Owen.

Owen was part of the French Mafia, a ally of mine. His father was the leader but I always hated his children.

"Hey baby, do you want a drink?" Rachel purrs and she trails her hand down my arm, stopping at my pants.

I grip her hand, pushing it away and nod softly at her. She pouts but walks away.

She should know by now that I don't do one night stands or no strings attached.

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