~ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴘᴏᴇᴍ
ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡʀᴏᴛᴇ ʜᴏʟᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜ ~
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Cover made by @jimitopia
So I actually really liked the title. I liked how it was a single word and I thought it was fitting for the plot. The cover was also well done, I think it shows the appropriate amount of darkness in the story. The description was good. I think it would definitely hook readers, and you were very descriptive.
I would say that the plot was interesting. Though I have seen similar storylines, it was unique in its own way. However, I felt like Y/n played that typical Y/n. So her character didn't feel like anything new to me.
Subjectively, Jungkook's character was developed well. I think you showed well how he seems normal at first. But as the story goes on, you can see his behavior change.
For the writing, I think you were descriptive at the appropriate times. There were some grammar errors that I noticed. You sometimes switch between past tense and present tense. I recommend that you just stick to one of them.
Also when you are writing the dialogue, you sometimes leave unnecessary spaces and don't put in the commas. For example, " I think we should use the chair " You suggested..." should be, "I think we should use the chair," You suggested..." So I would recommend going back and editing the chapters to fix these errors.
Personally, I didn't like the story very much. I think the idea of Jungkook being an obsessed killer just didn't sit well with me. But I understand that you're not portraying his real character, but one that you made up. The story isn't for everyone, but I know that there are people who are fans of these plots.
Thank you for letting me review your book, author-nim!
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Until next time, my lovely writers ^-^
Ups! Ten obraz nie jest zgodny z naszymi wytycznymi. Aby kontynuować, spróbuj go usunąć lub użyć innego.
