The Boyfriend I've Always Wanted (Larry AU Sequel)

Monsters - 27

Louis frowns, feeling a blush start to rises up underneath his skin.

Great. More bullies.

+++++

Louis had thought that his surprise would wane through the rest of the hour, as people conversed and told stories and invited Louis to include himself into the discussion openly. But at one in the afternoon, when everyone seems to fall into an understanding, natural silence meant to end the meeting, Louis is still staring at the white sneakers perched on the rug in front of his chair.

It's hard to ignore too, as Connor becomes the spotlight of conversation for an entire eight minutes as well, when he openly (almost aggressively) shares his position. The unspoken, unasked, question of why he's even here in the first place.

Turns out his sister came out as pansexual to their family last year, and he's been trying to improve. For her. It's a bit of a heroic share, as much as Louis doesn't like to admit it. He can't say he disapproves of his actions to learn about other people and understand them. "My sister is literally the greatest person I've ever met. If she loves someone other than a man, then I just don't think I could ever hate her for that, even if I tried. I love her. We took care of each other, you know. Dad was a deadbeat. Mum was in and out of prison for a bit, and when she was there, she didn't spend a lot of time with us."

"I'm actually...an ally for the queer community on campus now," he scratches his neck. "I won't say I've done a full 180, because that just wouldn't be true, but I, uh - I'm working on it."

Louis hates how innocent and sweet he sounds.

Of all the places he could run into Connor Schmidt. Of all the places he wants to run into him. Gay therapy hadn't been the first thought, nor his first desire.

But it's not exactly like Louis can take back the fact that he's already been snuffed at and inevitably stared at for an hour. If he wasn't able to recognize Louis after all that time, then Louis doesn't even know why he bothers to tutor him at all, because there's no way he could recognize chemistry patterns if he can't even notice Louis after bullying him for years. And he's foolish for hoping for that outcome anyway.

Jack leaves the meeting first, grumbling about having had to piss since the meeting began, and seemingly goes off to do exactly that. Leaving Louis very alone and very suspicious.

His eyes lock on Connor's again, narrow, before he makes the decision to walk over to him.

"Could we have that talk today? I think we should have that talk today."

Connor, seeming to realize that he's caught in unfamiliar territory, just nods slowly. "Yeah. Alright, Tomlinson."

Louis looks, seeks out Jack as he often had through the meeting, but he is cruelly reminded of the fact that his roommate is no longer by his side. Okay. So, it's just Louis. Louis and Connor.

"Not to be, like - mean, or anything. But, uh, how are you here? Like, why are you here in London? You told everybody in secondary that you got a big footie scholarship. Why are you suddenly LGBTQ adjacent and turning everything on its head? Why are you doing this to me?"

He sighs. "No, are you thick?" But the insult dies on his tongue. "No, I never got a stupid football scholarship. I lied."

"...Why did you lie?"

"Because that's what I fucking wanted, but it's not what I got. Isn't that why people lie about that shit? I lied because I was embarrassed, and I wanted people to be jealous of me, and I wanted to think that I was good enough. For fuck's sake, Louis - you were the best player on the team, and even you didn't get a scholarship. How did you think I did?"