“Mommy, can I bring my Minnie Mouse swimsuit? I think I’ll look pretty wearing that!” Lauren giggled as I wear her white strap sandals on her tiny feet.
Dad planned to have an out of town. Hindi naman nalalayo dahil sa Batangas niya lang naisipan mag-bakasyon ng tatlong araw sa isang kilalang resort doon. It’s been a year since we went for a family outing. Lauren loves to be in the water because she said like she wanna be Arielle.
“I’ll bring all your swimsuits, Lauren. You can choose whatever you want.”
Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaluhod sa paanan niya at tiningnan siya. Joy was flashing in her eyes as if she’s already imagining the salted water and the scent of the ocean breeze.
“I’m excited! How I wish Tito Hell would be joining us.”
“Your Tito Hell is busy with the company. Babawi rin siya sa’yo kapag nakauwi na tayo kagaya ng ipinangako niya sa’yo.”
“Yes, for sure. He even asked me to bring some shells when we get back!”
Pasimple akong ngumiwi. Hindi ko alam kung seryoso si Hell sa sinabi niyang ‘yon sa anak ko. Alam namang masiyado itong masunurin at ano man ang sabihin niya ay gagawin ni Lauren.
What he’s gonna do with the seashells?
Pagkatapos magbihis ay lumabas na kami ni Lauren ng kwarto. She’s jumping while sashaying towards the living room. Her long yellow sunny dress was flowing with every direction as she moved. Parehas kami ng damit, nakasanayan na sa tuwing aalis.
“Where’s Tita Reeva? She’s so matagal. I am sooo excited, Lolo!” Lauren exclaimed, wriggling her tiny feet while sitting on the couch near Dad.
Tumawa si Daddy sa kaniya, maging si Tita Lyra ay gano’n rin na nakaupo sa harapan namin habang naghihintay sa step sister ko. They look at my daughter with adoration like she’s the most adorable little girl in the world.
For me, she is.
“Your Tita Reeva will be out soon, honey. Don’t worry.” Si Tita Lyra.
“Are you going to teach Lolo how to swim?” magiliw na tanong ni Dad.
“Yes! Tito Hell taught me how to and I think I am already good enough.”
Kung hindi lang kilala nina Dad si Hell ay maaaring isipin nila na ito ang ama ni Lauren. But then they knew him, they knew that we’re just friends. Kaya naman nang ipagtapat ko sa kanila na buntis ako apat na taon na ang nakakalipas ay naging malaking katanungan sa isip nila kung sino ang ama ng dinadala ko.
“You can’t just tell me you’re pregnant without introducing me that father, Zethalia!” sigaw ni Daddy nang sabihin ko sa kaniya ang sitwasyon isang araw sa opisina niya.
“Dad, it’s just a one night stand—”
“One night stand! Are you for serious, Caroline Zethalia? Matanda ka na at hindi na ako makikielam pa sa mga desisyon mo sa buhay pero bakit kailangan humantong ka sa sitwasyon na alam mong agrabyado ka? You’re pregnant and you don’t even know who the father is!”
Tumungo ako. I was never a cry baby. Kahit nasasaktan na, hindi ako umiiyak dahil mas gusto kong magmukhang matapang lalo na sa harap ng ibang tao… kahit pa sa harap ng pamilya ko.
Pero ngayon sa harapan ni Papa at Tita Lyra, nawalan na ako ng kakayahan pagmukhain na matapang ang sarili ko. Maybe it’s not really bad to show the people around you that you’re weak and helpless. Maybe it’s not that required to look brave in front of them even though you’re already bleeding inside. And maybe, time will really come that you have to take your mask off and let everyone show who you really are.
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