My New Obsession [BxB]

Chapter Nineteen [Part Two]- The Beauty That I'm Faking

"Well... this is nice, eh?" George stated.

"Dude, do we seriously have to stay here? I'm going to go freakin' mental..." Matt whined, throwing himself dramatically onto the bed.

"Going to go mental? I think we're all already insane." I told him. He smiled.

I loved making Matt smile. I knew that I would never know if he was genuinely smiling or if he was just faking it for our sakes, but seeing him smile rather than being emotionless was so revitalizing. It just made a damn good change.

"Shove over, Matt..." George said, and Matt rolled to the side so he could sit down.

"By the way, if you guys are going to have sex, could you please let me know? So I can go next door?" Matt asked.

"For goodness sake, bro! Shut up!" George snapped.

"I don't know, Matt. Maybe there won't be enough time to warn you. I just can't help myself..." I said, and I dove onto George on the bed and kissed him roughly.

"Fucking hell..." Matt muttered.

I laughed but George shut me up by propping himself up on his elbows and closing the distance between us again. I tried to stop myself a little, for Matt's sake, I really did- but I couldn't. There was a knock at the door but me and George ignored it and continued kissing. Matt answered it.

"Well, that's just what I wanted to see." Jake stated, and I flipped him off over my shoulder, still kissing George.

My breathing was starting to go all funny now...

"C'mon, guys! If you're gonna have sex hurry up, okay? I wanna get fucked up..." Jake muttered. I pulled away from George and looked to where Jake was standing, the bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand.

"D'you think that's a good idea?" I asked him.

"D'you think it isn't?"

"I'm thinking of Matt, though."

"Are you saying I don't think of Matt?"

"I can think for my-"

"Shut up, Matt."

I was stood now, inches away from Jake, glaring into his narrowed eyes.

"Easy, guys, take it easy." Bryan said, putting a hand on each of our shoulders.

"Don't you think he's old enough to make his own decisions?" Jake said. I stepped forwards ever so slightly and Bryan pushed me back again.

"All this drinking, smoking, drugs- it's not... good." I stated.

Jake unscrewed the lid on the bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand and raised it in the air.

"I haven't got parents. I'm depressed. And I want to get fucked up." he said blankly. Then he downed a quarter of the bottle in one go. I snatched it away from him.

"Fine. I'm game." I snapped, downing another quarter.

"Guys, c'mon..." George said, and I felt his hand on my shoulder. "...Bryan, take Jake next door to calm down."

Jake stalked out of the room and Bryan followed him like a bodyguard. Rich gave us a sheepish look before following them.

"I can take care of myself, y'know." Matt said.

"I'm sorry, we're just a bit-" I started.

"Protective? Overbearing? Yeah, I know." He left the room, shutting the door behind him.

George flinched as the door slammed and I sighed and wrapped my arms around him tightly. I could feel him purposefully trying to breathe slowly and keep calm.

"Should I go after him?" he asked me, his voice muffled.

"It's up to you." I reminded him.

"I don't want us to be too much like... parents, y'know? I'm his fucking brother, I'm supposed to help him when parents can't." he said.

His breath caught and I feared he was going to cry. I couldn't stand seeing him upset. He was mine, and I was supposed to make him happy. So I tried. I pulled away from him slightly and then leant down to kiss his forehead, his cheek, his nose, his jaw, his throat. I kissed him repeatedly and at first he just stood there but then he started to react.

"You... are... an... amazing... brother..." I told him with each kiss.

His hands started to dig into my back as I continually kissed the base of his throat, leaving a couple of bites but not too many. I had to be wary of where I placed them now, because of the gigs.

"Stop messing around and freakin-"

I brought my lips back to his and kissed him properly before he could finish his demand that I do so. I walked forwards and he walked backwards and together we fell onto the bed. I pulled away from him and he took off my shirt and I took of hiss and we just kept kissing each other. I kissed down his chest and teasingly along the sensitive stretch of skin just above the waistband of his jeans, making him moan, and then he kissed my throat and gave me love bites. I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled the zipper down-

"J...James... stop..."

At first I didn't hear him but then he repeated it, louder, and I pulled away to give him a puzzled look. He sighed and sat up, gently pushing me off him.

"What's wrong?"

"I... can't. Not whilst Matt's all..." he tailed off.

I echoed his sigh. Everything just seemed so impossible now. Nothing could be normal, happy. Everything was tainted. So I stood up and pulled my shirt back on before throwing George his. I didn't look as he covered his bare torso, but instead went into the bathroom. I stared at the horrific looking ghost-child in the mirror. No wonder George didn't want me... I filled the sink with cool water and dunked my hands into it, watching the ripples, before scooping some up and splashing my face. It was refreshing, momentarily. But then I fell back into the feeling of numbness. I emptied the bowl and returned back to the bedroom- only to find George gone.