The Trauma of Two Worlds

Philza's Mistakes

(T/W: Mentions of child negligence (Phil tried to be a good dad but let's face it they would have issues anyways) mentions of suicide, unhealthy coping mechanisms (looking back at past and saying "what if") Dream manipulates everyone)

Philza Minecraft was exhausted.

It's been a few months since his son was exiled. He hadn't known. Tubbo said that he didn't want anyone to see him, but never that he was in Exile.

Poor Tommy.

The Avian's thoughts continue on like this for a while before they turn back to what's been on his mind for the past few months.

Why? Why did Tommy do that? Why did he not come to his father for help?

Of course, Philza knew the answer. He had been too preoccupied with Techno, with helping with the voices. To be honest, he could understand how it seemed like favoritism. That would make sense as to why his son wouldn't trust his father to listen to him. He figured this out a month after Tommy's accident.

What most often plagued his thoughts now were ways he could have been better.

Perhaps if he had went on less trips with Techno, but those were needed for Techno to be able to somewhat control the voices. Maybe if he had let Tommy train with Techno? No, because if Techno had lost control then Tommy wouldn't have been able to stop him.

Philza didn't know how he could have fixed it.

He was raising four kids on his own, after all. They were all high maintenance, too. Techno with his voices, Will, poor Will, who remembered his mom., and was the only one of his siblings who did. Tommy, with his need for attention that Phil just couldn't supply, and Tubbo with his attachment issues.

...those were pathetic excuses.

In the midst of his soul-searching, a knock sounded out. Someone was knocking on his door. Begrudgingly, Phil gets up to see who it is.

He knows the instant he sees the mask.

"Oh, Dream. To what do I owe this visit?" The masked man's voice has a smile to its tone as he responds. "I have a favor to ask. May I come in so we can discuss?"

Philza tucks his wings back and lets Dream in, knowing the man doesn't like his wings very much. He doesn't see how Dream's eyes linger on his wingtips, which were died red for Tommy.

"Phil, I was thinking. Due to the amounts of... death, and self-caused deaths on the server, maybe we could start a mental health awareness thing. Go from server to server, offer support for those who need it. What do you think?" Dream tilts his head slightly, his mouth, the only real part of his face visible, showing what could be interpreted as a hopeful smile.

Philza smiles a bit, intrigued. "Yeah! I think that's a great idea!" Dream's smile widens. "I'm glad you think so! I was kind of hoping that you would come with, and maybe Techno and whoever you want to bring along? Since, Y'know, you two were the most effected by Tommy's accident." Phil nods his smile growing wider, just as Dream planned.

"Of course! I'm sure that I could get Techno, Will, and probably Tubbo. They all grew up together, after all. Maybe Tubbo would want to bring Ranboo too, since Ranboo's been helping him get over Tommy." Dream smiles even more, but not for the reason Phil thought. A chance to bring along his puppet without having to suggest it himself? Perfect!

"Yeah, of course! Plus I think Ranboo got along with Tommy too, so it's only fitting." Phil nods to himself, already planning. "Do we have to pack stuff? Where's our first stop? Will it be cold or warm?" Dream waves his hands, smiling. "Woah, slow down! We're going to HermitCraft, since they have a lot of people who are regarded highly in the mental health field. I'm sure you've heard of it?"

Philza nods, smiling. "Yeah, I've heard of it. They're supposedly really good at building and stuff too." Dream nods, turning around. "Pack whatever you think you'll need. They have all kinds of biomes there, so hot and cold really depends on who you want to visit." Phil hums softly and sees Dream out before beginning to collect his things.

Maybe he could help others through this. Other Dads with the same issues. Maybe... he could make up for his past mistakes.

Of course, before doing anything more, Phil lets Techno, Will, Tubbo, and Ranboo know about what was going on.