A Different Path

Chapter 40 - Anger

"Romeo won't be here tonight, so it's just us three," he said with a smile, sitting down at the table. 

"That's alright," Jack said, smiling back at Race. He looked to me and saw how badly I was picking at my nails, making him take my right hand in his. 

"Sorry," I mumbled, looking down.

"It's okay, I just don't want you hurtin' yourself." He said, and Race remained quiet, not wanting to intrude.

We played for a while and I was able to relax just a little, until I looked to the clock and saw it was fifteen to ten. I began picking at my nails again, starting to lose interest in everything that was going on around me.

"You okay, Crutchie?" Race asked, making Jack look at me.

"Uh," was all I got out, staring at my hands. 

"What's wrong?" He pushed, setting his cards down. I stayed quiet, hoping that Jack would understand that I wanted him to answer for me.

"His Mom his coming to see him," he read my mind as usual, and I dug into my pocket to take out the letter. I handed it across the table to Race, picking at my nails harder. "Hey," Jack said, taking my hand in his again. 

"Is she serious?" Race said as he finished the letter, setting it down. "Are you going to see her?" I nodded slowly, looking up at Race. "Is that... Is that a good idea?" Jack let go of my hand, taking the letter and reading it over again. "I don't know if you should."

"I want to," I got out, glancing at the clock.

"This could... really mess with your head, though," Race warned, and Jack nodded, not having thought of it before. "Tell us how you're feeling so we can understand," he asked, and I sighed.

"I'm really nervous," I began, looking down again. "I don't know what I'll say." I took a shaky breath, drawing blood around one of my nails, as I had started picking at them a third time at some point.

"What if we were there to back you up?" He suggested, making me look at him. 

"You'd want to do that?" I asked, seeing that we were growing close to ten o'clock.

"Of course," he smiled, looking at Jack. Jack then looked to me, noticing I had once again been picking, seeing the tiny bit of blood I had drawn. He quickly took my hand and locked our fingers together, not saying anything.

"Sorry," I said quietly, embarrassed.

"There's nothin' to say sorry for. You're nervous, and that's okay." He began to rub his thumb on the back of my hand, helping me to calm down. 

"We should..." I trailed off, needing to take one more deep breath. "We should go out there."

"If you need us to step in, just look at me and I'll know, okay?" I nodded, and Jack let go of my hand. We all stood up and went for the door, my heart pounding.

Rather than picking at my nails, I picked at the handle of my crutch, needing to do something to mildly occupy my mind. I was terrified about what could happen, not knowing how I'd react to seeing her. Jack rested his hand on mine so I'd stop clawing at my crutch, not wanting me to accidentally hurt myself. Finally, we heard footsteps getting near, only making me more nervous.

"We're right here," Jack reassured me, smiling. I nodded and faced back to where the footsteps were coming from, my Mom turning the corner moments later. She looked just as I remembered her, except I was now taller than her and her hair was greying. She smiled at me, but I didn't do the same back.

"Oh, Charlie," she said, pulling me in to a tight hug. Part of me wanted to hug her back, but the other, more louder part of me insisted I stay put. She let go of me, looking me up and down. "My poor baby," she added, and I felt sick as she said what Jack always called me when he knew I really, really needed him.  "How are you?"