Stris - SWAT

Part Five - To be....happy?

A/N - thanks for the love so far, I've been trying to upload chapters regularly for you all and this one is a tiny bit longer than the last couple of chapters! - Kate 🦋
————————————————————

(Chris POV)

The drive over to my place was quiet, neither one of us wanting to bring up the topic.

How were we going to make this work?

I mean, we both really wanted this to work out, but so many obstacles and rules and our situation have been the reason behind why it never happened in the first place.

Just like Street said before I left for Germany, these feelings between us are real, they always have been, even when I tried to push them away because of my position, my previous experience and relationships.

He understands that I have to be careful with my career, because women in SWAT is something that is extremely rare, which I had to work my ass off to achieve, and it's not unlikely that I will be prejudiced against in my role or any decisions I make, just because of my gender.

What feels like probably the best thing that's ever happened to me, is also the hardest decision to make.

It was when he told me in the armoury he was willing to give up his own position in SWAT, if it meant that he got to be with me, that my heart practically melted.

I'd tried not to let my internal reaction escape because I'd never make him do that for me, as I know how important SWAT is to Street as well, especially since we both worked so hard to get his position on the team back.

But he was willing to just let it all go...for me? So we could finally be together. To be... happy?

With all my silent, mental debating with myself, I hadn't realised we had arrived at my apartment complex.

"I'll...uh..grab your bags", Street clears his throat and opens his door to climb out of Luca's truck.

"At least let me take one of them" I say, grabbing my large duffel bag from his shoulder, as we made our way up through the outdoor stairwell, to my level.

Now inside the hall, we reach my apartment and I grabbed my keys and unlocked the door.

Once we were through the door and my bags thrown down to the side of my dinner table, I closed the door behind me and leant against it, with a sigh.

"Man, it feels good to be home", I smiled as Street who stood next to the table, turned to see my expression.

Street seemed to want to say something but he hesitated.
"What?", I asked him and stood up straight, and slowly made my way toward him.

He watched me the entire distance as I moved closer and he asked with a slight grimace, "is everything alright?...you were just.. really quiet on the way here".

I gave Street a small smile and said honestly, "I was just overthinking everything, trying to find a way that would make this work the way we want it to".

Another reason I felt Street and I never worked was because I wasn't completely honest with myself or him about how I truly felt.

I'm not usually one to talk openly about my personal feelings with others, but with Street he just had a knack of getting me to open up on occasion, even when I tried so hard to fight it.

Street sat on the edge of the table, which brought him directly to my eye level.
"All I know Chris, for certain, is that no matter what, I want to be with you. I really can't hide it and push it down anymore".

Street's eyes pierced my own now, I couldn't look away.

His gaze lowered as he extended his hands out and grabbed my own, and gently caressed his thumbs across the top of my knuckles.

"This...", Street said, and pulled my hands and held them against his chest, "is all I've wanted since I met you".

"And I guess at first I didn't realise the complications on our careers, yours especially, and how immature I had been and maybe it was bad timing, but now", he brought his eyes back to mine.

"I don't mind fighting for it, because I know you are the only person who truly understands me, who will always call me out on my bullshit", he laughed and added, "unconditionally".

"I really want the chance to give us a shot, and I promise I'll try not to stuff it up", he said grinning.

Is it possible for my heart to melt a second time?

Everything I had been thinking over for the last three months, not sure how to get it out, just poured out of him.

I shook my head and my mouth turned up to match Street's smile and I said, "you know, you talk too much...But I like where this is going, continue...." I add.

—————————————————————