Unexpected love / Damiano x Victoria

/ 10 /

Mattia has called for a car to pick us up. He's afraid we'll be attacked by fans, so he insists we have to be driven everywhere. If there's anyone who should be scared, it's Giorgia. There are many girls, and boys, out there who want to kill to be in her situation.

- At the radio program, outside -

Many fans meet us outside the building. They scream and reach for us. I sign a couple of autographs and join some photos. Both with the rest of the band and alone.

I'm not in the mood. My smiles are fake and I fight hard to not break down in front of everyone. It can't happen. I can't bear speculation about what may have happened to me.

Mattia tells us that we have to go to get the interview.

We stumble after him like four sloths. There is usually a great lack of sleep for everyone when we travel like this, and it is quite visible on each of us. Thomas, for example, has large bags under his eyes that are visible from many meters away.

«Not to be rude, but you guys look dead. Do you get enough sleep? Do you eat enough? This is my job and I have to make sure you keep up», he sends us a serious look.

Food and sleep are easy to forget when everything else is on the agenda. At least for me who hates both.

My disturbances come and go. It all depends on how I feel or how much I have to do. Like in these times I forget to eat, and once it starts, it continues.

For many years, Damiano has been trying to change my way of thinking about food when I'm stressed. Every time I struggled with school and the food ended up in oblivion, he made sure I got food in me. I remember he used to come home to me with warm soup when I sat at my desk and worked late into the night. 

Had it not been for him, I would probably have been terminally ill. Forgetting that food, drink and sleep are important can be life threatening.

«We're okay. When are we going out in the studio?», Ethan ask Mattia. Our manager looks down at his watch.

«In 10 minutes. Go and get ready», he gives us a pat on the shoulder each and leaves us.

10 minutes later we are sitting together in front of a lady who I assume is the one who will ask us questions. I'm quite nervous, because I know very well that many of them will stay about the realationship between me and Damiano.

In this last few weeks, there have been more than many videoes and pictures of me and Damiano which is taken completely out of context.

That everything is taken out of context are his words, and I guess I just need to hang on since it is he who chose to kiss my neck and touch my thigh in front of thousands of people.

The lady sitting next to us gets a thumbs up and starts blabbering on. I take a sip of my water.

«Good morning. You listen to Swedish radio P1. Today we have some very spesial guests. They won Eurovision 2021 and now they are here with us. Welcome to you Måneskin», she smiles warmly at us.

«Thank you», Thomas smiles back. So do the rest of us.

We talk a little about how time has been after we won and came home again to our personal lives. I tell about how anxious I was to go outside that the whole band had to move out to Lombardia for a couple of weeks to relax before we went here.

Yes, that's actually the first reason we went there, but also to write music.

I rarely talk about it, but it's time for people to know why there wasn't so much noise from us.

The boring questions immediately escalate to questions I wish we could avoid. My mouth gets dry again. I can neither move my tongue nor my lips.

«As you all know, there has been a lot of speculations about how far Damiano and Victoria have an affair with each other», her eyes light up with eagerness to know.

No matter what she's going to ask, it's going to hit me hard. After we fucked, everything that concerns me and Damiano has become vulnerable. Before, such rumors and assumptions could just slip by without any problems, but now the situation is different.

«There are many who wonder if you, Damiano, have ever had feelings for Victoria?», the lady's gaze is burned between me and him.

I look away at Giorgia biting her nails off. She was clearly nervous, and maybe even a little anxious.

He glares at me up to several times before straightening up. «No. Sorry for having to shatter your hopes back home», Damiano laughs with Ethan and Thomas.

Ouch. It hurts just as much every time.

«Then I ask you Victoria. Have you ever had feelings for Damiano?», the hope of a little gossip is back in her eyes.

My ears start beeping. All eyes around the table are fixed on me with hope, some with fear. Damiano bites his lip hard that it eventually turns white with red marks.

What should I say? That we fucked once and that it didn't matter, when it really meant everything to me?

I'm so in love with this boy. My best friend. It's so wrong, but at the same time it feels so right. Had Giorgia not been in the picture, I would be honest with everyone around this table and everyone listening to this radio and tell the whole world how much I love Damiano.

But I still can't. How stupid had I not looked like I confessed now when Damiano has just said he has no feelings for me? He loves her, not me.

«No»

Liar.