Our Own Peace

Chapter 2

Ive been thinking about you

Do you think about me still? Do you? Do you?

Or do you not think so far ahead?

Cause ive been thinking about forever.

Frank Ocean- Thinkin Bout You

George knew from the bottom of his heart that he had no chance with this girl. Its been weeks, 5 to be exact since he sent a long ass confession letter. He didnt want to confess this way but whenever the two would plan to call, she always backs out. George has to be understanding and he was, he just really wanted to let all his feelings and get an answer from the girl.

He laid out many signs and he was sure that it was very obvious, even his friends said he was so bold to do them.

George would post a story to similar things that she posted on her instagram, he would post the same aesthetic she would have if she did post a photo, he would send her food whenever she said she was sad, and he even bought her an album for her birthday last month from her favorite k-pop band.

His one particular friend mentioned that he was giving too much for someone he just met. To be specific, someone he met 6 months and 4 days ago.

George was trying hard and was falling hard. He overthinked everyday and felt anxiety as he waited for her, turning his ringtone high always just to make sure if she replied. But as the weeks pass by, he kinda started to accept the fact that maybe the silence is a sign of her answer.

George looked at his phone and wanted to talk to his friend but he knew something was going on so he decided not to disturb and just overthinked by himself. He tried to recall everything his friend told him, to always stay neutral, to stay in the middle. Not to expect too much from each side.

He wished he could talk to his friend, his friend always knew what to say. His friend would cheer him up and give him the motivation to do things worth his time. He never forgot his hobbies since his friend constantly reminded him that if he learned to love himself, someone would eventually come and love him.

But it drove him crazy. When would that certain woman come in my life? The woman he could lean on in all his hard times, he could grow with, and would be mother of all 10 of his children.

The thought of having 10 children made him happy since he was an only child. He wanted to make sure that none of his children would ever feel lonely, they would have someone they're sure they can lean on to. To make life not so painful when life decides to fuck with you.

He decided to go outside and play tennis. He prepared the tennis ball machine, he loaded it and went to position as he focused at the machine.

He hit each tennis ball that was shot at him but he couldn't really focus. He wanted to know her aswer, he wanted to know if he had a chance, he wished for her to give him a chance, and he wanted a chance to love.

He was afraid for her to say no but this isnt the first time. He will accept anything and understand the situation like he always did then wait for the next one the Lord planned to give to him.

However without an answer, he was left overthinking and it was incredibly hard to not think of negative things. He sighed as he wished he could talk to his friend. However, he knew it would take a while for his friend to reply.

He tried to spend the rest of the day not thinking but for some reason, today was hard. He couldn't understand why he was so frustrated, why was he so uptight on this. Yesterday and the past days weren't as hard as today.

He couldnt sleep and he was craving badly for something even he wasnt so sure about. It was 1:06 AM, he knew his friend was probably asleep since she was an early bird but he thought maybe she's awake.

He opened messenger and opened their chat box.

"Are you ok Lou?"

He waited for a while and constantly looked at their chat box hoping she would answer but after a while, he was convinced that she wasn't answering anytime soon.

He sighed and decided to just read back their conversation, reading back to her advices from his past love issues. He smiled at the amount of times he was told the same advice again and again.

Dont fall too quickly. The amount of affection you give will equal to the amount of pain you get.

Stay neutral. Dont expect anything less and anything more.

He wondered why he cant apply it after all the times he got his heart broken.

Its something easy to do, isnt it?