Going for the Seven

Chapter 9

Samantha

Seeing Tyson ended up being the thing that pushed me over the edge that I had been teetering on.

I hadn't even had to speak. With one look he had been able to access the situation. Concern had been evident on his dark face.

I knew I had two options. I could go to him, let him comfort me, help me. He would do it in a heart beat. Let me cry on his shoulder and hand over all my burdens and pain. Heck, I could probably even sic him on Liam.

Or I could run. Run from the memories he conjured.

Like the coward that I had been since the accident, I took the only option that I could mentally handle.

Tyson hadn't even been able to get a word out before I was blowing past him and out of that dorm as quickly as I could.

I had to escape. Escape everything.

That dorm room that reflected my now empty life.

Tyson, who I knew would bend over backwards to help me. But if I leaned on him, it would just kill him when he realized just how unfixable I was.

Liam who was all consuming and a liar on top of it. He had known I wasn't into football players and he had just conveniently left the fact he was one out of the conversation. Not only was he a football player but he was my brothers replacement!

Then there was my lost virginity and the fact I hadn't made him use a condom. I had trusted him so completely in that moment, I had put all my faith in the fact he would take care of those details. He hadn't.

Doing the math in my head, I didn't think I had to worry too much about an unwanted pregnancy, I should be in a safe stage of my cycle.

That didn't mean I didn't have to worry about other things. I obviously didn't really know Liam. He could be having unprotected sex with a different girl every night. And why did that thought hurt?

In a daze, I somehow found my way back to my dorm room. All I wanted was to change out of his shirt, fall into my small bed, and not get out until my chest and heart stopped throbbing.

I went to insert my key into the lock and stopped in my tracks.

Of, course. It was just my luck. Of all days, it would be today that my introvert roommate would have a hook up.

I replaced the sock on the door and stormed back out into the still silent campus. There was only one thing I could do now.

Find alcohol.

Somehow, despite my mused state and wearing a guys shirt that hung clear down to my knees, I was able to convince two guys to sell me some of their alcohol stash. It probably helped that they were still drunk from the night before and where counting on the fact that I would stick around to party some more with them.

Instead, I walked around until I found a secluded spot in the campus park and planted myself against a tree to gulp down my pint of vodka.

I managed to drink my way half way through the bottle in the matter of a couple hours. My head was spinning and I felt light as air. But still I was thinking about the night before.

For once, I was glad that my family was not around to see what I had become. My parents would be so ashamed at my behavior. And I had little doubt that my father and brother would hunt Liam down and kill him for taking my virginity.

My stomach rolled, threatening to toss back up all the alcohol coating it.

And wouldn't that be just perfect. I already looked like a homeless person, in my stolen shirt and brown paper bag wrapped bottle. Several joggers and a group of girls carrying back bags bursting with books, had already passed by my spot. They had all silently been judging me with critical looks thrown my way. I thought one of the joggers was going to stop to check on me, but with one glare from me she quickly changed her mind and took off faster in the other direction.

It might be time to try my room again. The last thing I needed was for the cops to be called. Problem was, by this point my surrounds were spinning. I managed to get to my hands and knees before falling back on my side.

I admitted it. I had hit an all time low.

All I could do was lay there as the world spun around me and let the silent tears fall down my cheeks. I was so tired of it all. I didn't want to have to face another day.

Closing my eyes, I curled in on myself. Folding my knees up to my chest. I ignored the scratchiness of the grass beneath my face and the bugs that were undoubtedly starting to crawl all over me. I ignored the sound of voices going up and down the path near were I lay, as the campus started to come to life for the day.

Maybe, just maybe, if I lay still enough I could be absorbed into the ground. Maybe I could be with them again.

Or maybe if I just kept my eyes closed for long enough, when I opened them it would be to find that it had all been a bad dream. My parents and brother would still be alive, the last nine months having never happened and the hole in my chest healed.

There was only one problem with this.

I wasn't a quitter, never had been. It was this fact that had kept me pushing on. That had me coming to college when everyone said I should take a year off. That had me opening my eyes to face the world every day.

With new determination I opened my eyes.

To flashing blue lights.