The Bull Prince | Max Verstappen

Chapter 30

They had to make it official if they wanted to be together. But for Joanna that wasn't the scariest thing. It scared her far more than she was so sure that Max would do it all with her, without a second thought. He trusted her so much, she wasn't sure she was worth even half of his trust. 

She had handed him her heart, this bloody, bruised, and barely pulsing thing and for the first time, she believed that someone finally would take care of it. Joanna just had to hope that everything that would now come their way was not too much for them.

The youngest Lauda sat up, which caused Max to open his eyes again. But what he saw worried him instantly, normally Joanna would smile down at him in a teasing way before she did something to get him to just stay awake with her for a little bit longer, but this time she was biting her lip. So hard, Max was afraid she would draw blood.

"Hey, don't do that." Carefully he reached out, to brush his thumb over her lower lip, causing her to let it free, but at the same time, it was everything that held her bone thwacking sobs in.

Max's eyes widened as he sat up highly alerted. He never had to deal with a crying girl other than his sister and she just went to their parents when she was sad, so Max had absolutely no clue, how to handle Joanna now. He did not once have to take care of a crying girl. No girl ever meant enough to him to actually care why they cried, but Joanna was different.

A little bit unsure, he reached out and pulled her against his body. Rocking her in his arms, like his mother used to do with him all these years ago.

"I ... Are you ...? What do I do?" Max stumbled over his own thoughts, which caused Joanna to actually smile at his concern for her.

"You're doing great," Joanna whispered against his shoulder before she leaned back to look into Max's turquoise eyes. The Dutch brushed his fingers carefully over her cheeks, catching the tears, which were falling.

"Is it my fault?" Max uneasily asked, which caused Joanna to smile this strange smile. Somehow pained but still so affectionately. 

He has seen it so many times on his mother's face, when he asked her why she was sitting with him on the bed, quietly crying in the middle of the night while carefully letting her fingers brush through his hair.

Back then he didn't know what his father did to his mother when nobody was paying attention. Max still felt so stupid for believing her every time she told him she had fallen down the stairs or she had run against the closed door. Maybe he always knew what was happening behind closed doors and he had just closed his eyes, not ready to see the truth. The Dutch often wondered if he could have helped her.

"It's just one of these days." She whispered before she tried to smile again. Max watched her for a few more moments before he pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. 

"I don't want you to be so sad." He whispered into her ear, which caused Joanna to search his eyes. Just a few simple words. I. Am. Pregnant. That would have been enough and Max would have known about their situation. Maybe he would be happy. Maybe he would be excited to be a father, but Joanna didn't manage to mutter these words. She simply couldn't. Not yet. 

---------------

Waking up the next day, everything was normal again, at least for Max, who was still sound asleep while Joanna threw up in the bathroom. The Austrian was glad that she had a few moments for herself, taking a shower after the little incident with the morning sickness. Standing in the shower, Joanna wondered if she could ask Susie about tips, the British woman was further along than Joanna, so maybe that would be a possibility. 

She didn't have to ask so directly, just show some interest and Joanna was sure Susie would be happy to talk to someone about her baby. Getting ready for the day after leaving the bathroom, Joanna was fast to pack her suitcase. The PR team from Ferrari wanted her a few days earlier in Malaysia for some promo video's which never bothered Joanna, but she wasn't a fan of traveling right now. There was still no time for a doctor's appointment, but she was sure to squeeze one in around Japan.