Being Nonbinary (Trans and Nonbinary Problems)

Labels

Everyone has their opinions on labels. Some people like 'queer' or simply no labels at all, others like to get really specific. As any cat owner can tell you, being put in a box is very different from getting in one yourself. 

I personally like to be in the in-between. I get somewhat specific but I don't really need to be 100% accurate. If I were to be as specific and accurate as possible I am genderfaun or Xenogender, asexual and panromantic, and I primarily experience alterous attraction (attraction that blurs the lines between platonic and romantic)or maybe I'm pan-demiromantic. But I am comfortable identifying as nonbinary + pan ace and that's what I tend to call myself. It's my personal preference.

To be honest, there are quite a few identities I don't understand. I can't see why anyone would need a label like cassgender, but for the people who identify with it, I am so glad they have a word to accurately represent how they feel. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable with what they identify as. It's important to respect everyone, whether we understand them or not. All we have to do is respect the labels someone chooses and not call them things they don't want to be called.

Labels are just words for feelings, if you discover that a label you had identified with doesn't fit you or that there is a better one for you, that is completely fine. You can change your labels as much as you like.

I thought I'd compile a list of some of the terms beyond the gender binary, please let me know if I miss one or mess one up.

Nonbinary- Nonbinary is not a thing you are, but a thing you're not. It means that you do not fit into the binary of girl or boy. This is why it's an umbrella term, it encompasses every identity beyond the two traditional ones. It can be a stand-alone label where or can be used in conjunction with any other label.

Genderqueer- Similar to nonbinary, it's a vague, all-encompassing term that refers to not identifying with boy/girl.

Agender- The term is used to mean not having a gender. It is the gender equivalent of asexual.

Genderfluid- A person who is gender fluid has an identity that changes. They can shift from agender to male to female. The way it works is different for different people, for some it changes by the hour, others by the year.

Genderflux- The intensity of the gender identity fluctuates (for example 0% might be agender, 50% might be a demi gender and 100% might be one of the binary genders).

Demi girl- An identity somewhere between binary female and agender.

Demi boy- An identity somewhere between binary male and agender.

Bigender- An identity that encompasses two genders. Either both are felt at the same time or they fluctuate like genderfluid.

Genderfaun- A fluid identity that never encompasses feminine genders (demi girl + female).

Genderfaunet- Like genderfaun except it includes demi girl and only excludes female.

Genderfae- A fluid identity that never encompasses masculine genders (demi boy + male).

Genderfaer- Like genderfaun except it includes demi boy and only excludes male.

Gendervariant- Strays from the traditional expectation for their gender (GNC).

GNC- Gender-Non-Conforming; not conforming to the expectation for their gender.

And of course the many identities across different cultures such as the two-spirit of Native Americans or the Argr (kind of a derogatory term so it's not the best example) of the old Norse.

Many of these identities are very similar and overlap, but that's okay. The only time micro labeling is dangerous is when it is used by people who want to harm the community to drive wedges between us. We should be allies to all our siblings even if they use a different label to us.