Being Nonbinary (Trans and Nonbinary Problems)

After you begin to understand your identity...

The experience of figuring out your identity is one that varies between people. For some, it is a long journey of trial and error, others hear a term that just clicks. But no matter how you came to the realization that this was who you were, the next step (hopefully) is the same, acceptance. Acceptance isn't always easy and it doesn't always come quickly.

A lot of people's dysphoria increases after they come out to themselves, or at least they begin to notice it a little more. Looking back I always had some dysphoria, I just couldn't put it into words. Once I realized I wasn't cis, I understood what made me uncomfortable and so I noticed the stuff more and got more uncomfortable.

Then it took about two years to begin being comfortable in my identity. I have slowly started accepting who I am. For me, one of the biggest milestones was being able to wear a skirt (well... I started with a kilt since it was masculine enough). For quite a long time, I avoided anything feminine because I felt it would invalidate my identity but now I'm secure enough in my identity to treat everything not directly tied with gender as gender-neutral (for example clothes shouldn't have a gender, they are inanimate objects). Sure my mom still thinks my singular dress is proof I'm a girl but I'm willing to let her have this one, I know who I am.

A general progression of acceptance is:

     -Oh no, I'm ___

     -*whispers* I'm ___

    -*shouts from the rooftops* I'm ___!!!

     -Everything is ___, pride flags everywhere, bathing in your identity

     -Slowly it becomes less of a thing. Like it's still an important part of you but it's not so in the foreground.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these stages, wherever you are, good luck. I'm at the fourth stage, let me tell you, it's fun.

These were like 4 unrelated paragraphs. They do not link into one another. Very poor writing on my part. But I will make you read it anyway. Bask in the fact that I am not burdened by the constraints of "good writing" here.