Being Nonbinary (Trans and Nonbinary Problems)

Me complaining again

It appears that I am now just using this to vent, sorry. 

I'm constantly caught between, "eff it, I'm gonna buy a binder and a trans flag, and every time my mom brings it up I'll be like "I have no idea what you're talking about"", and "I need to stay in the closet a little longer and wait till she'll be fully supportive."

I either have to convince her that I think I'm a cis female or I have to pick the first option because I want I binder, and I have 2 ways of getting one; going 'eff it' and buying it or pretending I need it for a cosplay. The second option sounded great until I decided to try to ease her into the idea by dropping subtle hints and always using gender-neutral or masculine terms when talking about myself. I dropped one too many hints and so she went off on how 'she's known me my whole life and when I was two I liked dresses so I can't not be a girl'. Now I can't ask for a binder without raising eyebrows.

I would like to note, my mom is trying hard and while I will complain about her quite a bit she really is very supportive. She's really good at supporting my sexuality, she just needs to wrap her head around the idea that some people aren't cis.