Being Nonbinary (Trans and Nonbinary Problems)

There is no Endgame

For binary trans people, there is often an endgame. The end goal is usually to pass as a cis person, and through transitions, it is possible to achieve this. While not all trans people want to transition or pass as cis, the opportunity is there.

For people who identify outside the binary, there is no real end goal. It's not like you can pass as a cis genderqueer person and there is no level of passing as androgynous that will ensure that people will see you and get your pronouns right. There is no point when even the highest transphobe would gender you correctly. You pretty much just have to tell people. {edit: this does not apply to people with fluid genders as they can pass as cis for whatever gender they identify within that moment. Also, while you won't always be able to be gendered correctly, one transition goal a lot of nonbinary people have is to get to a point where people can't tell what your agab is and thus don't know how to misgender you.}

For us, there is no 'all official names have been changed, all official gender markers corrected, all surgeries done,' moment that means that we'll never be accidentally outed. You either pretend to be cis or you face the transphobes.

{Anouther note, not everyone wants to "pass" and the obsession with passing as cis only adds to transphobia. Obviously is you want to pass that's fine, the problem lies with people who insist that your goal should be to pass}

My aim is to look gay, no matter what, if you perceive me as female, at least perceive me as one who likes women, if you perceive me as male, at least don't mistake me for a straight person. But that's just me personally.

This kind of sucks and can mean that you will always feel dysphoric, but you're not alone and hopefully, someday, it'll be easier. Maybe someday, everyone will introduce themselves with their pronouns and everyone will get to be who they are. {This is from my perspective and will probably not apply to everyone}