Temptation

Chapter 36

"So please, Julian tell me what is it about? Because I can't anymore. I want to breathe. Is it a game, and you never meant anything? Is it sex? Do you want to fuck me and make me one of your trophies? Or do you want to tell the world you fucked Xemina Royale? Is it still part of the plan you told me you were done with? What do you want?" I exhaled desperately.

"It's not part of a plan. You're not an object. I don't want to make you one of my trophies or scream it to the world. It's not just sex. It is more than that." He rejected with a compassionate tone.

"Then what the fuck do you want?" Please... what are your intentions?" I pleaded with one last breathe. I was losing my voice. My throat was burning and dry. My head was exploding due to all the shouting and crying. Blood was pumping in my skull. My heart and stomach was cramping. I haven't eaten anything since this morning.

"I want you."

His words sliced the air, and that was not the answer I was waiting for. He looked serious. He straightened up his posture and took one step closer. I froze. My pulse was thumping loudly in my temple.

"I am sincerely sorry I made you feel like that. I never wanted to hurt you. Since the start, I have had nothing against you. I told myself I hated you for the same reason. I hated you not only because I was told to but because you got on my nerves for always defying me. I found you attractive. You were the only girl not ready to bow down to me and stood up to my level, and I respected it. I threatened you, I did stupid things to you, and I regret them. You are strong, beautiful, smart, and hella sexy. I resisted for months, but I couldn't handle it anymore."

He paused and ran his fingers through his hair before taking a deep breath.

"I realized how my whole being desired you. I want to make love to you so bad it hurt. Suck the soul out of your body. I want you to be mine. I want to protect you. I want to love you and every part of you but not until you also want me. You keep this ideology we can't be together because of who we are, and it ached my heart. I could feel your eyes on me, but you were retrieving because you didn't want to admit I made you feel something. So I made my move. I felt rejected, and that one night, next to the gym... I can't describe to you what I felt. I know I am wrong for toying with your feelings, and I don't want to do that anymore. I don't know what will happen in the future, but for you, I am ready to try and risk it."

The silence between us was astronomical. I couldn't think. My brain was shocked. I saw red. His words ran through my body like electricity. He was waiting for me to respond, but I was incapacitated. He was staring heavily at me. I inaudibly gasped when a Red Spotted Purple Butterfly circled us before lightly posed on his hair. He didn't notice the little animal, and his face morphed to confusion. The butterfly flew away, leaving me wondering, was that the sign I've been asking for? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"And you thought that you would get somewhere with me by controlling and playing with my feelings?" I exhaled unbelievably.

He didn't answer and bowed his head.

I scoffed and peeped around while running my hand through my hair, feeling the tears forming again.

"Did you even consider all I went through, and that was the last thing I wanted in my life is you controlling what I feel? I am in pain, and I expected you out of all people to understand that, Julian. I opened up to you. I told you things I never told anyone because I thought we shared a bond. So what? You wanted to lay me so bad; you had to make me want you by torturing me? What the fuck is this kind of logic? Do you even hear yourself? How about you acted like a man and made me feel good after all the bullshit you did to me before? At least you own me that!"