Falling for a Felstead

The photoshoot

"It was incredible. We had the most amazing time." I smiled as all the memories filled my head. "It was just nice to get away and obviously spend time with him because we don't get the chance to see each other much anymore."

"Didn't Alex go with you to Marrakesh?" Louise remembered.

I nodded. "Yeah, so after we went to Australia, Proudlock decided he wanted to go to Marrakesh and I just happened to have been talking to Alex as we were booking it so I was like: hey, I know things have been kind of weird but we're gonna be doing this and I don't really wanna wait until the end of this trip to see you again."

"That's quite sweet." Binky smiled slightly.

"Yeah, so he flew to Marrakesh and we spent just over a week there and then he came home while Proudlock and I jetted off to Paris." I explained.

"So what's the situation with you and Alex now then?"

I shrugged. "I'm so madly in love with him but I don't really know where his head is at right now and it definitely worries me. Like as far as I'm aware, he hasn't hooked up with anyone else in any way and I obviously haven't either but we're in this weird kind of relationship limbo. I felt quite bad for Proudlock at times because I was being very like: I wish Alex was here. I just wanna be around him all the time. I don't wanna cut the trip short but I just can't stop thinking about being with him."

"I think that's a sign that it's definitely something worth fighting for." Louise said.

"It's weird because I was literally in a very healthy, non argumentative, two year long relationship yet I've never been so in love with someone before." I told them honestly. "Like losing him scares the shit out of me and I honestly don't think I could cope with seeing him get with anyone else. Like when things are good between us, I honestly can picture him being the lad I spend the rest of my life with but we've just had so many moments where it hasn't been good that I don't know if that's even a possibility anymore."

"Oh birdie." Binky hugged me.

"God it's been so long since people have called me that." I laughed a little. "Like, literally the only person to call me that in the past, what, four or five years was Spencer."

Alex called and asked if he could come over and about twenty minutes after hanging up, he was at my door.
"Hello."

"Hello. You alright?" I smiled as I let him in.

"Yes. It's looking nice in here now." He looked at some of the new decorations before sitting down. "Not that it didn't look nice before."

"I think I'm gonna change a few things but it is cute."

"A little bare on the walls. Maybe I can do some paintings for you."

I smiled amusedly.

"I'm not going to lie, it has been weird going from always being at my place to now, occasionally going over to each other's. Obviously you were away for a while so that affected things as well. The boys were saying... well, Jamie was saying that it's kind of like we're taking a step back in the relationship."

"Yeah, I know. Binky and Louise said something similar."

"But the way I looked at it and explained it was that to move forward we do have to take a tiny step back."

"Yeah, I think it's a really good thing to have complete trust in each other and let each other have the space to do whatever we want. And I do completely trust you."

"Yeah, I think that's needed, for any relationship to work there has to be trust. Otherwise it's a battle everyday."

"Exactly." I agreed. "And we know what it's like to have those battles and I really never want to go through that again. I want us to work because I am hopelessly in love with you."

"Yes. I love you too." He leaned over and kissed me.

Everyone went to Liv's exhibition and it was beautiful. I walked round with Alex and he definitely spent longer looking at the pictures of me which did make me laugh.

We went and got a glass of champagne and saw Steph stood by herself looking at one of the pictures.

"There's Steph looking intently at a naked lady." Alex joked as we walked over.

"Who is that?" I squinted slightly as I tried to figure it out.

"Hey guys."

"Hello." I smiled.

"I thought you guys broke up, by the way." She casually dropped.

"I told you that wasn't the case at the poker." Alex reminded her.

"Was it fun?" I asked.

"Jamie was completely naked." She told me.

"Standard." I chuckled slightly.

"So that was like fun." She then looked at Alex. "You only had your shirt off. But you had your pants unbuttoned which was weird. You were, like, anxious. Like: I hope I lose the next hand."

"No, it was fun, it was fun." Alex smiled.

We walked away pretty quickly after that and continued looking at all the pictures.