Falling for a Felstead

Hearts on sleeves

Harry and I went snorkelling with Tabitha, Habbs and Miles and it was honestly just good at getting my mind off everything.

The boys went up onto the rocks while I stood on the little beach with the girls.

"So what happened with you and Miles?" I asked Tabby. "He said you guys had a chat."

"It's just the whole things just really annoying. He was like: yeah, I've just been thinking about it and it's just really not me vibe so, like..."

"What?" Habbs gasped.

"I know, and then I obviously, because I was so confused and I wasn't expecting it, I got all emotional and then... I know because I'm an emotional person anyway..."

"I'm the same." I reassured her.

She continued. "So then my, like, bottom lip starts going and I just felt like an idiot, the whole time..."

"No, but you wear your heart on your sleeve, you're playing games." I told her.

"I do wear my heart on my sleeve." She agreed.

"We're single, we'll go on the prowl." Habbs laughed.

"We all had our fair share of drama then the other day." I commented. "I mean, I was like... well, Harry and Sam..."

"Wait, how are they now?" Tabby asked.

"We're not talking at all. Harry feels so hurt and so do I..."

"What happened?" Habbs queried.

"He was so fucking rude. He was shouting at Harry before I got there and then when I got there he was like: you've fucking manipulated her so much. At that point I was just like: fuck you, fuck off." I could feel myself getting angry again. "It's just one fucking thing after another. Like, yet again, one of my friends is calling Harry manipulative but this time It's my best fucking friend in the world. I'm not doubting Harry because I love him so much. The main reason I'm fucked off is I've lost my best fucking friend and I don't feel like he's ever gonna want to be friends again."

"Do you not think there's any friendship to be salvaged there?" Habbs queried.

"Obviously, on my side, I want all this shit to get settled once and for all and I want my best mate back but I'm so fucking scared that he's gonna be like: go fuck yourself, I don't care anymore." I started to tear up. "I don't wanna cry but it is like, if I don't have Sammy, where the fuck does that leave me? He has been my ride or die for fucking years. I don't know who I am without him. I really don't want to lose him but I really don't think he gives a shit about me anymore. Especially since he made the manipulation comment. Like, everyone knows how I react to that fucking comment so it wasn't just some off-hand thing. If it wasn't for the fact that I have so much trust in Harry and we do have such a solid relationship, Sam saying what he said at dinner would've put me on a flight home."

"If that happened to most girls, they would've kicked off but obviously you're so solid." Habbs reassured me. "Harry is also so lucky you literally have all faith in him. Like, that is such a good relationship."

"You do know how rare that is?" Tabs reminded me. "I do think it's all on Sam."

"I never thought that I'd be losing my best mate because of my relationship." I sighed. "I never thought I'd be the kind of person to chose my boyfriend over my best friend. Sam and I have always had the strongest friendship and he's blown it all to shit."

"Do you want to be friends again?" Tabs asked me.

"Of course I do." I responded with zero hesitation. "Obviously I want an apology for the comments he made about me and I would like it if him and Harry were at least civil but I can't imagine my life without Sam. That's not a life I want to even try imagining."