Dangerous Innocence [ATARAXIA Series #2]

Ataraxia

Ganther Uries Neric Asuncion's Point of View

I'm playing chess alone when the door opened. I heard him gasped. I turned my head in his direction. Inayos n'ya ang salamin n'ya. May bakas ng dugo ang damit n'ya. He's holding a trench knife. Bakas dito ang matuyong dugo.

"G-ganther? What are you doing here in my room?" Ibinalik ko ang tingin ko sa chess na nilalaro ko. I moved the pawn before talking.

"Sit, play with me," I said. I moved the other piece and declared. "Checkmate." Kit sat in front of me. Inumpisahan kong ayusin ang mga pieces para mag simula ulit kami.

"Are you playing alone?" I nod.

"H-how did you win over yourself?" He starts to move his piece, so I am.

"Why are you playing alone? It's possible to win?" He added.

"Yes, playing alone makes me see how my opponent moved against me." Kita kong naguluhan 'to. "Playing alone made me see how my enemy will act towards my action."

"Did you ever win against yourself?" That made me stop for a while before moving my knight.

"I never won against myself. It's hard defeating myself, Kit. Kahit kailan. Kahit ilang beses kong subukan hindi ko matalo ang sarili ko. Because if I won over myself you'll never see me here playing. Yourself is the most difficult enemy, Kit. Your mind will be screaming no, but deep inside yourself you know it's yes and you'll never ever win over your desires. It'll just make your mind and everything in chaos." He just stared at me. Puzzled. "Desires is like a virus in our system, Kit. There are two types of desires. One that can destroy us, and one that can save us."

"You are not talking about chess aren't you?" I cackled a lifeless one.

"I never talk about chess, Kit. What I'm saying is the game of life. And that's what we are going to play right now." I moved another piece. But he didn't move.

"Consider these pieces as your steps to get to your deepest desire. And declaring checkmate against your opponent means getting your desire." I hummed.

"What is your greatest desire, Kit? Killing Onyx?" He stops moving and just stared at me.

"You said you want to avenge in Leighton for making your life miserable and for killing your family. You still want to taint your hand by Leighton's blood.?" He didn't reply.

"But you are also working with Orion? He's Leighton too right? You wanted to make Leighton down but you also make other Leighton rise? It doesn't make sense my friend." I saw how his eyes grew wide as he heard me saying that word.

"Tell me, Kit? What is your deepest desire?" He just keeps his mouth shut. "Hmm.. let me guess. Isn't to be happy?"

"You want to be happy Kit. I can see it through your eyes. But how can you be happy if you cannot accept your nightmares?"

"Aren't you believe in saying. Acceptance is happiness?" A lone tear ran down to his eye. I knew it. I just press his button.

"H-how do you say like everything is so easy, Ganther? You don't know how painful is it. Growing in lies. Growing up without parents. You don't know how painful it is."

"I didn't know, Kit. Because I grew up numb. I do have parents but I feel I don't have any. The fact that they there beside me, pero hindi ko maramdaman. I grew up in manipulated lies that were put in my mind. My mom tells me she loves me but I'm not enough for her. So I need to do things to make her happy. My dad left us for Misha and her mom. I don't want mom to be sad to I became a monster. So I jumped to the 2nd floor of our mansion to make my mom happy. So that dad will come back to us. He really did but I become a monster to his eyes. Before I do believe that our tongue was made for us to say how we love others and care for them but ever since I saw the pain in my mom's eyes and the fear in my dad's eyes. My tongue didn't out any sweet words. I spit poison that tainted everyone's mind. I made everyone's robot and my voice is the command key for them." I saw pity in his eyes.

"W-what is your deepest desire, Ganther? Can you tell me?" His eyes were pleading for me to tell.

"My deepest desire? Ataraxia... Kit. Ataraxia. Peace of mind. Because I never had that in my life. All of my life I felt like drowning in the ocean of chaos. The waves of insanity keep hitting me. Kit, I just wanted my nightmares, my demons to be calm. I wanted peace of mind. I want serene... I want tranquility in my head and in my emotions."

"H-how can you have peace of mind if you keep playing with others' life as if they are mere toys? Ganther it's madness." He hissed. I chuckled.

"Do you believe in me if I said I never played someone's life to destroy them? I wanted to fix their life. I wanted to fix them because I can't fix my life. Do you ever believe that I made everything to make them happy? Pakiramdam ko kasi pagnaayos ko 'yong buhay ng iba magiging masaya rin ako. It's like fixing someone's life will give me peace of mind in the end. It's like dealing, cleaning other mess means I did something great. But it never happened Kit. I ended up messing up everything. I let myself be drowned in darkness. My mind is in chaos. In madness. At first, it was just a habit of mine but it ends up an obsession. A passion that I can't get rid of because it's my life. I wanted to make someone's life perfect the way I wanted my life to be. But my life is hell, Kit. So I end up giving sh*t to others..."

"Y-you are crying again, Ganther..."

"Because demons can cry too. Kit, can you help me to fulfill my desire?.." He hugged me tightly but I can feel the care. I smiled and give him something. He was stunned while looking at it. It's shining because of the light in the room. May nakaukit na "2" dito.

"T-that's a key made in diamond..." I nodded. I put it in his hand.

"The desire that'll ruin you is killing Onyx. And the desire that can save you is running and turning your back in this game, Kit..."

"Be happy, escape this place with Slade. Don't let your anger blind you. The game is just fooling you. In the end only if they succeeded destroying Leighton Empire. They'll get rid of you too. All of you. Run to your deepest desire, kit. Get out of here and be free and happy outside. This is the key to the secret passage at the library."

"H-how? I thought it was lost?" He's referring to the key.

"I stole it. I made replicas that were made in a diamond." I pull out myself in his embrace and move my last piece.

"Checkmate..." He chuckled but he was tearing up too.

"You'll come to us aren't you?" I shrugged.

"I still need to finish my game." I looked at Kit and stood up. "Kit, you are my very first friend. So I wanted you to move away from the chessboard because you'll just be trapped and defeated in the end. Bring the knight together and run for freedom."

"You are the kindest demon I ever met, Ganther..." I shake my head.

"I'm not kind, Kit. I'm lost and that made me this far just to look for my ataraxia. Until I saw it. Walking towards me. That made me end up here. " I didn't let him respond. I left him immediately. Hinawakan ko ang tatlong natitirang susi sa kamay ko. Kinatok ko ang pintuan ni Alex and I just left the key with a piece of a letter on the floor. he looked around when he opened the door but he saw nothing. His forehead knotted when he saw the key and the paper on the floor and that's my cue to leave.

I smirked as a siren rang to the whole university and the next thing, I knew Orion revealed himself and announced the final round of the game. A final round without rules, time limit, and only one mission.

"Do you want to get out of here? Do you want to win this game? The last round of this game isn't about Leighton anymore. If you want to get out of this place, find Ganther Uries Neric Asuncion kill him, and get the key from him... Only one person can win this game, You need to kill everyone until you are the one who's still standing. Ganther if you want to save Onyx from his death. Come to me. Give me the f*cking key as an exchange in his life."

I smirked. And gripped tightly the dagger that I'm holding. "I'll get my peace of mind after this worthless game. Let see. I'll win. I'm the manipulator and every piece will move according to my plan... Just hang in there, Onyx I'm willing to use my hands to kill someone just to save you. You are my deepest desire Onyx. You are my peace of mind. Just wait for me. I'm coming."