KiriBaku one-shots

Warrior Princess

PLOT: Okay, so this is basically me writing as if I'm on crack. Enjoy Bakugo playing princess with his boyfriend.

----------------------- START:

"Kirishima! Save me from that hideous monster!" I scream, jumping back. What is that thing? It's so ugly and slimy, and probably has rabies!

Kirishima runs into the room as fast as he can, his boyfriend instincts kicking in. "Who's here? Is it the LOV? Tell me where they are!"

"No it's not! Even worse!" I say pointing to the creature. So hairy, so ghastly!

"B- Bakugo that's just Midoriya."

"Ugh! So the bastard has a name!" I say, bringing a hand to my forehead, "You never name monsters Kiri!" I can't help the evil grin that appears on my face, or the side eye to see Deku's expression. Mouth agape, eyebrows furrowed. "And his face is just so ugly, who would want to befriend him!"

"Um. . . Bakugo?"

I grab Kirishima's waist, pulling him close, "Save me Kirishima! Before he spreads his annoyingness to us all!"

"Bakugo?"

"Oh it's all so horrendous! Take me away from this-" I search for a word I haven't used yet, closing my mouth and crossing my eyes as I think, but come up empty, "This horrendous creature!"

Kirishima laughs, "Of course I'll save you Bakugo, let's run away!" He mouths a sorry to Deku, grinning that beautiful smile of his.

"Oh knight and shining armor! You never run away! And you never apologize to something so ugly!"

"No, I think it's best to run from something so strong and powerful, something so much stronger than us!" He says slyly.

I frown, looking up at him. "Don't make the princess do all the dirty work for you fucker! God, they always make the man the hero but never the woman! Get over here monster so I can slay you!" I say, pointing at Deku - I mean the creature.

"Princess?" The villainous man replies, holding back a laugh "Pft!"

"Don't laugh at me, you evil creature! Princesses are twice the fucking man you'll ever be!" I glare at him, pointing a finger angrily.

Kirishima breaks out into laughter suddenly, seconds before Deku follows.

"Hey! You're supposed to be the prince! On my side!"

"Pft! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Wait, I thought I was the knight?"

I think for a second, before replying "You're both! Handsome as a prince and brave as a knight! Now slay this monster for the warrior princess who's stronger and better than you both! And handsomer. . . And just better in every way!"

"Okay! Okay! We can't just 'slay' Midoriya though!" He says, still laughing.

"Sure we can! He's useless anyways!" I grin my evil - I mean hero like - grin, looking at Kirishima's beautiful face.

"Oh my God-" Yet another laugh. "Bakugo, you're too much right now!"

That gets me laughing, "Whatever! Just slay the fucking monster before I, the warrior princess whose way stronger, does it for you!"

"Okay! Okay! Are you okay with that Midoriya?"

"Yeah, yeah! Whatever will make Kaachan happy," The extra, who is also an evil villain who ruins everything, says.

"It would. So do it."

"Okay! Okay! Midoriya, I shall slay you and save-"

"Assist."

"Assist the princess in destroying you."

I clear my throat, causing Kiri to roll his eyes playfully.

"The very strong warrior princess who could easily do this himself."

"Now kill him! Die! Die! Mwahahaha!"

"Dude we're supposed to be the heroes!" He says with a laugh, his beautiful pointy teeth shining. His beautiful red hair, covered in hair spray just as usual. My prince, my knight, my boyfriend, who would protect me without hesitation in a serious situation (not that I'm not stronger, and not that this isn't a serious situation. . . Because this is very serious and I'm a God).

"Die!"

"You guys better not be fighting in the dorms! Be serious, this is still a school environment!" Four Eyes says, walking into the room. Ruining everything.

"Hey Iida! What are you up to? How was your day?" The villain says, giving up on our game as he follows after the even bigger nerd.

"Well that's just great, it was just getting good!" I whine.

"Wanna go hiking? We can play 'warrior princess' there," He says with a grin.

"Yes, I'd like that a lot!"

"Let's go then! We gotta make sure we're back before curfew!"

"Fuck curfew! I wanna take down some villains with my prince slash knight!" I scream, already running out the door.

"If you say so!" He calls to me, chasing not far behind.