Virgin Lips

36. Now I can pass out for real

"Are you okay?"

I flinched when I saw a hand being waved before my face. I blinked my eyes, realizing where I was. "Sorry." I murmured, lowering my glance.

"What's going on?" Ms. Benedetti asked, tilting her head to the side. "You've been distracted all week."

Where do I begin? My neighbor and best friend, who I thought was gay, is not only as straight as a damn arrow, but also has a 9-year-old daughter and he – incidentally, unbelievably, absurdly – confessed he's in love with me. Me, me!

On top of that, I have a boyfriend that also said he loves me, and he hasn't received an answer in weeks. He pretends he's cool with it but I can see the hurt look on his face every time we kiss or part – he hasn't repeated those words, but it is evident that he is waiting for me to say them back.

And how about the fact that my boyfriend not only still talks to my neighbor, but he's become friends with the daughter! Apparently, Jeremy and Elle spent some time at the zoo while her dad came to talk to me – the irony of this! My boyfriend literally playing wingman for his rival!

"Joanna?"

"Yes!" I blurted out without thinking, only to blush when I noticed my boss' weird look. "Sorry." I murmured again. "Uh, is there ... anything else?"

Ms. Benedetti eyed me for a long, long moment. "Am I overworking you?" She asked, seemingly concerned. She fixed her glasses on her nose, then added: "I know we're doing crazy hours, but unfortunately it's required for now, until we really take off. But if you think it's too much for you ..."

"No!" I exclaimed, afraid she was about to fire me. I straightened up, shaking my head. "No, it's fine."

"You've been doing a lot here, Joanna, more than what is, technically, required of you."

"That's ok. I enjoy working here."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Again, my boss studied me carefully for a few moments. It's true that, being technically an intern, I do more than edit texts; actually, editing texts is one of the last things I do, more as a way to teach me than really as part of my job. Mostly I do grammar editing, but the actual editor checks again every time. Mainly, I do pretty much everything is needed, including taking coffee orders for everyone, yeah.

"Do you feel valued here?" Ms. Benedetti asked me, which took me off guard.

Do I feel valued? Has anyone ever asked me that? Scott would never even dream of it. "Yes ..."

She pursed her lips. "Because I've been thinking about it, and ... maybe you need something different."

Please, don't sack me, please, don't sack me, please don't sack me. I badly need this job. I unconsciously pressed my eyelids, wanting to make myself as little as possible. Was my work so bad that I get fired after barely a month? Maybe it's a sign I need to downsize my expectations and dreams.

"Oscar!" She called, well, yelled, for her assistant, namely the guy that took me to her when I came for the interview. I don't know him much, same as I don't know much any of my co-workers, me being the usual asocial I am, but he seems nice. I'll think the same even if he brings my resignation papers.

"You called?" The tall, slim guy in a suit appeared like a genie at the door. He's incredibly efficient.

"Yes." Ms. Benedetti grinned, gesturing for him to come in. "I have thought about your question," she said, directed at him, "and I think you're right, you should be able to do more." Wait, is she firing both of us now?