Virgin Lips

8. Just keep swimming

"So ... tell me about yourself."

Ugh, not that line. What am I supposed to say about myself? That I'm 28 and never had a boyfriend? That my crippling social anxiety mixed with nonexistent self-esteem keeps me not just from enjoying life but also from progressing in any way? Let's be honest, if I was any more sociable, I might have at least gotten a reply from the magazines, publishers, newspapers and everything whose jobs ads I answered to. Well, that or I'm really mediocre, which is also possible. Which also means I am going to die a virgin in Scott's diner, between mustard-stained walls, indecent bathrooms and rude customers.

I nearly jumped when I felt Ben patting on my arm, like a kid wanting you to buy him something. "Sorry, I forgot, no touching," he raised his hands in mock surrender.

I wanna say I wasn't shocked by his revelation, but I was. I mean, it's more likely than him having a thing for me, as Joe thought, absolutely, but if anything I thought he was already taken; then again maybe he is, all those times on the phone he talks to a boyfriend, not girlfriend.

I owe him, though. When Scott called to make sure I was really sick, Ben pulled a concerned doctor act that's worthy of an Oscar. He even kind of terrorized Scott when he implied that I was sick because he was overworking me (which is true, after all). Of course, my employer still demands that I go back to work tomorrow and he won't pay for this day I skipped, but it's still something. I slept all morning, then Ben came back in time for lunch, bringing takeaway, and now there we were, in my kitchen, intent on eating.

"Do you have siblings?" He asked, restarting to eat his lunch.

I shook my head in response, keeping my eyes on the plate. "Do you?"

"Yeah, two younger brothers." He reached for his phone while still chewing, and scrolled a bit. "Here." He handed me the phone.

The picture on the screen was clearly a family photo, I mean the professional ones, which makes sense, Ben being a photographer. It was a really nice family. One of the brothers looked to be 16, while the other looked 14; they looked a lot like the man standing next to their mother, but the woman didn't resemble any of them. She reminded me a lot of Ben, though: hair color, eyes, even the nose.

As if he'd read my mind, Ben pointed out: "They're my half-brothers, technically."

"Oh."

"I never knew my dad. My mother says he died in a war, but she never said which one, so as I grew older I realized she was just lying to protect me."

Oh dear ... too much too soon. Not that I don't want to know more about him, I do, but this is a lot, and we've barely started talking and I don't know how to deal with sad stories ...

"It's not that bad," Ben laughed, probably able to read my thoughts on my face, "my mom married Austin when I was 9, he's a nice guy."

I looked at the picture again. It was clear that the woman had Ben that she was really young. She was probably fresh out of high school or barely 16. "What about the child?"

Ben widened his eyes for a quick second. "The child?"

"Yeah, it's barely visible but there's a child in the corner." The picture had been taken in their backyard, I think, or in a playground, because I saw some sort of playfield in the background; and it's in that playfield that I saw the child. There was a young woman – probably early twenties – watching him, but he'd sneaked out and you could see him hiding behind a tree, watching the family take a photo. Maybe it was some random curious kid, but he was smiling at the camera.

"Oh, uh ..." Ben seemed taken off guard; maybe it was really just a random kid that'd photobombed their family moment and he'd never noticed.

"Do you know him?" I asked, eyes back on the picture. I couldn't see much of the child, but it was an interesting sight. Dark hair, lively and kind eyes.