Hometown

Chapter 18 - Illusions and Delusions

"I guess that's my cue." Sasha said as she followed the running officer. Connie and I ran up to the superior, and Jean and Annie followed. We swooped down into the city with our ODM gear, and our superior stopped us in an alley.

"Kirstein, I heard that you led your fellow cadets to safety earlier today. I trust you have what it takes to lead this squad, so for now, you guys are the Kirstein squad." He nodded in Jean's direction.

"Yessir!" Jean exclaimed with his fist over his heart, but I could see the sweat dripping from his cheek.

"You six will lead the stray Titans, out there in the city, back to this corner. Once you have done so, immediately get back up on the wall to safety. Don't die out there," he said urgently.

"Sir, if we feel in danger, can we stray from our orders?" Annie asked calmly. Stray from our orders? Why? I wondered. I had more reason to question her intentions than I did with the others.

"If you must, then you must." The officer stated. "Now Kirstein squad, go!" He shouted, and we shot our wires out of the alley. Immediately upon going forward, we found ourselves surrounded by many Titans. All we have to do is lure them, right? It isn't as hard as killing them... right?

As we got deeper into the city, I felt a pang to my head. The rest of the cadets kept forward, too focused on avoiding the Titans nearby. Down I went once again, but this time on a roof. I screamed in pain. 

Why now? I thought. Hadn't I healed? Was it too soon for me to go back to battle? 

Suddenly, I couldn't even think straight. I writhed around with my hands on my head, unsure if Titans were near or not.

I closed my eyes and gasped.

"M–Mother?" I asked as her figure seemed to take shape in front of my eyes. Was this real? My words moved slowly, the breeze was slow, the clouds were slowly inching across the sky, the wisps of hair on my mothers brow moved slowly in the wind. Had time stopped?

"[Y/N], get up." She whispered as she stood on the roof near my shaking body. "Get up. We have to go home."

"Home?" I mumbled quietly. "Sh–Shiganshina?" I asked.

"No, [Y/N]. We have to go home..." 

I opened my eyes and gasped.

She was gone. The pain remained. It was less severe, but still hurt nonetheless. Did I pass out again? I looked up. No Titans were near me. In the distance, the Titans were gathered in the corner of Trost where they had been lured. I looked in the other direction. My eyes widened.

Eren's Titan was lifting a large boulder and walking towards the hole. Its weight was so tremendous that it cocked Eren's head to the side. How much longer can he bear that? I wondered.

The pain within my head came and went, just like that. Strange, I thought to myself. What now? 

I looked over to a roof in the distance, noticing Bertholdt and Reiner's figures standing there, watching Eren as he carried the boulder. What are they talking about? 

Marco landed on the roof behind them, but they didn't seem to notice until after a while. When they did notice, they talked for a bit, and then Marco zoomed away. Not long after, Reiner and Bertholdt followed him. 

Should I follow them...?

I decided it was best not to. I still wished to keep my distance, besides, perhaps Eren needed help on the front lines.

Annie suddenly landed next to me on the roof. Jean was not too far behind her, and he must've been able to see the pair of us as he advanced.

"[Y/N]," Annie stated coldy. "Have you seen Reiner and Bertholdt?" She asked. What a coincidence, I thought.

"I just saw them go that way, actually." I pointed. Without a word, or a simple 'thank you,' she turned and left. Jean landed by my side.

"Oi! Where is she going in such a hurry?" Jean asked, a bit tense.

"She had to rendezvous with a few of the others. For now we should get going to help Ereh–"

"Wait." Jean said as he grabbed my arm. "You were in our squad and disappeared for almost half an hour. We thought you died... We couldn't go back to find you, because well... we ran into some trouble ourselves." He paused, looking at his ODM gear. "Where were you that whole time? What were you doing?" He was concerned, and gripped my arm tightly.

"My– my head started to hurt and I fell," I replied honestly. "Had... had it really been half an hour?" I asked, completely unaware it had been that long. Jean's eyes widened.

"Yes, it was!" He was alarmed. "[Y/N], you need to get back to the wall immediately! You're in no condition to be out here fighting!" He shouted loudly. I stalled and looked at my feet.

"I... I guess I'll head back. You go ahead and clear Eren's path. He's gotta plug that hole." I gave Jean an assuring smile. "Don't worry, I can get back on my own." He looked at me, doubtful.

"Alright." He said hesitantly. "Be careful." He leaned in, but then stopped and took a slow breath. In haste, he pulled himself off the roof and towards Eren's Titan. I watched him go, but then I turned and looked to where Reiner had gone with the others. 

I want to see him, don't I? Just admit it. You want to see him.

With that, I zipped in Reiner's direction.

I swung past buildings, rising up in the air and dipping down close to the streets. I stopped for a moment, landing down on the ground in alarm. Piercing screams and pleas for help only a few roads away bounced off the walls of the buildings.

"...had a chance to talk this through!" I could faintly make out those final words. From then on, there was only screaming. But, who was screaming? Instantly, I shot my wires in the direction where Reiner and the others had gone. That was definitely where the screams were coming from, but it was so far away.

Then, the shrieking stopped. Almost there, I thought. But what if it's too late? As I was about to turn the corner, my body was met with the intense force of Annie's. She charged straight into me, forcing the two of us to crash into one of the windows in the building behind us.

I was completely winded. If I could've spoken, I would've shouted and questioned her, but no, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even mutter a word. I couldn't gasp. I was pinned to the ground, Annie's knee digging into my chest and the point of her blade at my throat.

What was going on? Was this my time? Was this my end?