Chapter 17 - Five Candidates

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"What if I don't let go of her?" Reiner asked Jean slyly. "What if I keep holding her? What are you going to do about it?" I saw a grin creep upon his lips. Was he... imitating Jean...?

"Reiner, it's ok. We don't have to do this, you can let g–" I was interrupted when Reiner began kissing me passionately once again, right in front of Jean! What is he doing?! I wondered. Why is he acting like this?

"Stop!" Jean shouted, helplessly. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes, unable to move. I wanted to kiss Reiner, I truly did, but not like this. Though Jean was an arrogant jerk sometimes, how could I let him watch this?

"Reiner, seriously we should stop." I said as I pushed him away.

"He doesn't get to decide what you can or can't do." Reiner turned to scowl at Jean, with his clenched fists in hand. I felt my anger building with every passing second.

"And you don't get to decide whether I want to be kissed when someone else is around!" I exploded. There was a moment of silence as Reiner relaxed his hands. "And you!" I turned to Jean. "Don't you think I should have a say whether or not you kiss me in the middle of a battle? For chrissakes, there were Titans all around us!" I sighed as the two of them looked at me, dumbfounded. "Look, I've had too much for one day. My head hurts. I'm going to find a quiet area, and stand there." I spoke sarcastically, but in all honesty, at that point, that's all I really wanted to do.

I walked away. I was unsure what would take place once I left, but I wasn't sure whether I wanted to know anyway. Our orders were to stay near the wagons and the street where we had congregated. In actuality, there was no quiet place to go to. I figured, perhaps the next best thing was a quiet walk through the alley-way back over to main street where Ymir, Sasha and Christa had been.

The breeze blew at my feet, and I could pick up the slightest sounds of leaves rustling against the brick pavement. The alley's were dark, but I didn't mind after a long day in the bright sun. To think, it's probably only noon or so, I thought to myself. How long will this fight continue? A day? Two days? A week? Longer?

While I walked, deep in thought, the rustling of the leaves against the pavement was accompanied by the light crunch of a singular leaf behind me. I swiftly pivoted.

"Hello?" I asked. "Reiner? Jean? Is that you?" I was met with no reply, but I felt the eerie presence of someone watching me. 

Who? 

I continued walking forward, although more warily and focused on my surroundings. After a long period of silence, I sharply turned my head to see Bertholdt following me. "You?" I asked. "Why are you here?" He looked at me carefully, his face ridden with worry and fear.

"Oh– uh–" He started. "Well, originally I wanted to talk to you, but um– I didn't get to yet, so I thought I'd speak to you now if you had the chance?" I eyed him suspiciously. How can this nervous-wreck be the Colossal? I wondered.

"What is it?" I asked. His face dropped to a certain level of seriousness, though I still saw the unease in his expression. He drew closer.

"As you know, Reiner is my closest friend." He began. "From the start of our training, I noticed he was... well... drawn to you. You two got super close to the point where even I felt out of the loop at times." He glanced away from me and paused.

"What's this about?" I asked. I had an unsteady feeling.

"I– I know what he told you," he blurted out. "He cares for you, and I don't want anything to get in the way of his affections towards you, but I must know from your words; do you plan to tell anyone our secret?" We stared at each other for a while. All was quiet, except for the pounding in my chest.

"No– I don't plan on it!" I exclaimed. "I don't fully understand you and Reiner's intent, but–" I stopped for a moment to gather my words. "As you've said, Reiner and I are close. For that reason, I trust him with all my heart." Bertholdt looked at me, and smiled.

"I'm glad." He looked to be in though for a moment as he put his thumb and index finger to his chin. He then came closer. "And, [Y/N], I've decided to trust you." He reached out his hand. "Do you think we can be friends?" It was quite daunting to think of befriending the Colossal Titan. Yet, looking at Bertholdt, I saw him and not a Titan. I took his outstretched hand and shook it.

"So, Bertholdt," I started as we began to walk out of the alley. "What does Annie have to do with you and Reiner?" He gave me a sideways glance.

"Oh, well– she's just a friend. We're from the same area."

"Does she know?" We spoke casually, as though we didn't happen to be talking about an essential secret to humanity.

"She knows as much as you." He stated. I couldn't tell if he was lying, or just giving me half of the truth. Although, I did know something was off.

"I see," I said plainly. If he wasn't giving me the whole truth, I didn't feel the need to ask anything further about their secret. "How long have you and Reiner known each other?" I asked.

"Well, I guess ever since we were candidates, I–" he stopped. Candidates? Isn't that what my mother had said all those years ago? She even said it in my dream... Five candidates... I thought. He quickly caught himself. "We were candidates for a small boy scouts group within Wall Maria. When we were selected, we'd collect firewood and go camping and such... Well, that was over seven years ago." As he spoke, he was lying. I could hear it in his voice.

I stopped in my tracks. Were my parents somehow involved with Bertholdt and Reiner? Did they... did they know about the Armored and Colossal Titan all those years ago? The breeze blew by once more and I shivered. The breeze wasn't even cold enough to make me shiver, but my thoughts had the same effect as ice.

"[Y/N]? Are you alright?" Bertholdt asked as he watched me.

"Yes I'm fine." I replied hastily. "It sounds like you and Reiner have known each other for so long. You must have a tight bond." Bertholdt smiled.

"Yes, we've been best friends for a while." I looked at Bertholdt who was glowing at the thought. I felt myself sigh.

"I never really had a best friend throughout my childhood. Until Shiganshina, my brother had been the one closest to me." I felt the tingle of a tear beginning to form in my eye. "But... he's gone now." I paused. "You're lucky to have Reiner. At this point, Reiner and some of the other cadets are all I have now." Bertholdt looked at me, and all I could see was guilt. "To think..." I started. "With this line of work, any one of us could die at any moment." I glanced at Bertholdt.

"But we knew that signing up... We knew we'd die one day..." He said with the smallest breath escaping his lips.

"Yes... We did. Still, there's a chance we'll live." I replied carefully. He looked at me, his eyes glistening.

"Right... You have a chance." He didn't sound fully convinced.

"So do you! Don't lose hope!" I smiled, trying to assure him it would be fine, but even still he sighed solemnly.

We walked slowly, the burden of this world resting on our shoulders.


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