the first five things i see.
babies.
the floor.
ross' hand beside me.
baby posters.
more baby posters.
it hurts my head and my heart ten times more and my breathing picks up faster and faster as we walk closer and closer to the exit
i just hope i make it out of here before i break.
before i crack.
finally making it to the exit i try to find more things to calm me down.
four things i can touch.
my jumper.
my ring.
the chipped nail polish on my fingers.
the thread that is breaking in my pocket.
next.
three things i can hear.
the beeps on machines.
my heart beating out of my chest.
the doors finally sliding open
two things i can smell.
petrol.
ross' cologne.
one thing i can taste.
nothing.
nothing what so ever.
and that's the scary part, when those don't work and nothings there that's when i know it's bad again.
and lucky enough those five things were working, for now.
stepping out of the double glass sliding doors i feel like i can finally breathe, i try hard to not make it obvious that i've just had a panic attack walking out of a hospital
i spot ross' car from a mile away as he clicks the keys to unlock making the car lights flash brightly
i make my way over with ross on my tail, when we get there he opens the back door and chucks the bag in, opening his door he jumps in after slamming the back, after examining his every move i do the same as him and get in the car
he starts it up rather fast, he normally waist for me to do my seatbelt but not this time, he didn't wait and didn't even bother putting his on till we were halfway home already.
when we got home everyone was in the front room of the lynchs, either sat on their phones, playing with now the three dogs they have got
vanilla
velour
vader
f i f t y
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