Waver✓

T H I R T Y - T W O

<I keep my personal life quiet, so don't think you know me. You only know what I allow you to>

|32|

"HEY," I called out after searching all over for him. He sat on the bed, his shoulders hunched and the clinic nurse cleaning the bruises on his face.

"Not now. As you can see, I'm busy," he said, his voice and eyes quiet and sad. I scooted next to him, saying nothing and watched the nurse do her job.

After some minutes, she was done, then proceeded to excuse herself out but not before she admonished Jayden, warning him to never engage in a fight again. He just nodded, jaw clenched tightly.

"You're lucky Kian didn't file a case against you," she chided and closed the door silently on her way out.

Thick silence ensured in the white sanitized room, the glaring bulb beaming harshly on us and a pungent smell of antiseptics wafting to our nostrils.

I berated myself again as I took notice of the blemishes that marred his jaw and chin. What on earth had I been thinking?! Dragging him into the mess I'd created. Not only was I selfish, I'd taken advantage of him. Of his goodness and kindness.

"Jayden," I started and reached to place my hand on his right arm.

"Just go away, Olay. Please." His face was the other way but I could hear the hopelessness in his tone. My heart cracked some more.

"No." I had resolved that I was going to tell him everything, answer whatever questions he had.

Standing up, I moved over to where he faced, sitting down directly in front of him then laid my hands into his. They felt cold to touch.

"I'm going to tell you everything, Jayden. But first, I want you to look at me as I explain myself," I said softly, squeezing his frigid flesh.

The only sound that could be heard was the humming of the air conditioner and just when I thought he was never going to look at me, he raised his head and pinned me to a piercing stare.

The intensity of his gaze took my breath away. Pain mingled with sadness and an emotion I couldn't unravel were depicted in his downcast expression. His eyes mirrored the anguish reflected in mine and I wanted nothing more than to make everything alright.

I started talking, the lump in my throat getting bigger, "I'm very sorry. I didn't know what came over me and I wasn't thinking. I overheard Kian telling Katharina the whole truth and I just wanted to wipe away Kian's foul kiss. You were the only person available. Yes, I admit I was very selfish and I hurt you deeply. For that I am sorry."

He didn't reply but just inhaled heavily and closed his eyes briefly before opening them back. I didn't know whether I was imagining it but a little hurt had gone away from his expressive facial features.

Taking this as a small feat of triumph, I resumed my explanation, "Okay. You're probably thinking when did this thing with Kian start. It all started when I was a little girl of six. He was always bullying me, making my school years miserable. There was no one to talk to about it, not even my parents because I wanted to keep them in the dark. I had no friends, nobody at all. Then at the beginning of senior year, he just changed abruptly. For the better he said and I was very wary, not at all believing that he'd changed but he blinded me with his good actions and I came to believe him. Foolish right?" I let out a dry laugh.