Chapter 28- Apologies

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*The day Tammy confessed her feelings to Debbie*

Tammy came running into my house, smiling from ear to ear, shouting that Debbie was willing to give it a chance. She hugged me tightly and I was truly happy for her. We celebrated that night with some wine and uplifting music. I wasn't necessarily in a good mood, but it was the least I could do for Tammy.

Tammy always listened to my problems or whatever I felt like talking about and I wanted to match her giggly mood. She was laughing from the wine and the euphoric state of mind she was in.

It wasn't long before she dozed off on the couch and was snoring away. I cleaned up the living room where our glasses were and covered Tammy up with a blanket to keep her warm. I rinsed off our cups and let the water run over our lipstick stains that could be seen on the rims. Tammy liked to wear light colors like a pink or nude shade. I barely ever wore any other than a shimmery gloss at times or just a cherry chapstick. Lou liked to wear soft and light colors, it always contrasted nicely to the darker clothes she wore.

I quickly finished up in the kitchen and went to get a short shower before I hopped in bed. It was still early for the night and I wasn't that tired, but I wasn't going to leave Tammy alone so I could wander the streets at night.

I let the warm water run over my body and I felt it hug my sides as it flowed down and into the drain. I missed Lou's fingers gliding across my skin, her perfect touch that made my nerves spike and my emotions electrified.

I got out and put on some old, loose clothes and crawled into bed. The sheets were cold at first and not at all comfy. I tossed and turned not being able to situate myself. I thought of Lou constantly and it was noticeable on my face, under my eyes.

I hadn't talked to her because I chose not to. It was my fault that our relationship was dwindling away. She may have been the one with Debbie, but I was the reason it was ending and I didn't know how to stop it.

I could talk to Lou. Tell her I missed her and how much I loved her. I could hide myself forever in her arms. I wanted to throw myself at Lou, but then I would be letting go of the mistakes that were made.

I did blame her for the start of the problems. For letting Debbie manipulate her and me, but I couldn't say that to her, and I couldn't say that it wasn't her fault. Instead, I stayed quiet and watched myself deteriorate in my house.

The next morning, I received an unsatisfying text.

Debbie: Meet me outside my loft at 10 am

I didn't wish to speak to Debbie, or see her face for that matter. I also didn't know if she wanted to talk about Lou or Tammy, but for Tammy's sake I would meet her.

Tammy was still asleep when I was about to leave, so I placed some painkillers and water on the table with a short note for her, informing her that I would be back soon, but if she had a headache, she could take the pills I set out for her.

I took a cab to the loft and nervously shook my leg up and down the whole ride. I made myself promise that I would be civil with Debbie. I would not act out and try to be mean because I was going to be mature. I also would be nice because I knew Tammy would appreciate it a lot that we got along.

I saw Debbie waiting for me. She was leaning on the wall looking down at her phone. She was alone and had sunglasses on with a large dark jacket to cover her up. I got out of the taxi and greeted her with a slight tilt to my head.

She started walking along a path and motioned for me to follow, so I trudged beside her silently, waiting for her to say something. She didn't speak for what seemed like a long time leaving an awkward silence between us, only being able to hear our footsteps on the concrete and the traffic from nearby streets. I wasn't sure if she still resented me, or if she was afraid of me. She walked slow, but with long strides making it difficult for me to keep up. She kept her face down and looked like she was building up the courage to speak, but I couldn't understand why.

"Thank you for meeting me." She took a deep breath and bit the side of her cheek. "I wanted to say that... I'm sorry." She glanced at me, still walking, to see my reaction.

"Umm. Thank you, I wasn't expecting that." I was definitely surprised. I didn't think Debbie was the type to apologize even if she was in the wrong. "Why now?" I furrowed my brows and sorrow filled my eyes.

"Why now?" She repeated with confusion across her face.

"Ya. Why say sorry now?" I didn't want to speak anymore, but if I didn't say anything now, I never would. "I mean, me and Lou are already not speaking to each other. You didn't need to apologize. What's done is done. You didn't have to say anything to me really. I'm not angry that you did, I just didn't think you needed to."

"I wasn't going to in all honesty." We turned another corner together and Debbie stopped and looked at me. "Lou wanted me too and I owed it to you. I am sorry that I got in between you and Lou, I think I finally understand the hurt it caused both of you because I realized how much I like Tammy. I also don't want you to give up on Lou because I don't like seeing Lou like this and I know Lou still wants to be with you although she may not show it."

"Well I'm happy for you and Tammy, really, but I don't know if things will ever work out with me and Lou." I looked away from Debbie. I didn't want to open up to her about my feelings just because she knew Lou well. Debbie wasn't my friend, she was Lou's.

I turned to keep on walking, but Debbie grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "At least try. For Lou." She let go of my arm, and I walked off without saying anything back. Debbie stayed standing at the corner and did not follow me.

I then called a cab and headed back home. Tammy was awake on the couch watching some TV with the water I had placed out for her in her hand. I looked on the table and saw that the pills were also gone, so I went and sat beside her. "How's your head?"

"Oh. It's better now." She was a little disoriented and couldn't focus on the TV or me from her headache. "Where did you go this morning?"

"Umm. Just for a walk, to clear my head a bit." I smiled innocently at her and no more questions were asked. I didn't want to keep secrets from her, but I wasn't sure how she would react if I told her I spoke with Debbie.

I drove Tammy to her house in the city and made sure she was okay and didn't need anything else. After that, I spent the rest of the day cleaning up my club. There were no workers there since I had transferred them to the new club, but I couldn't find the strength to go inside the new one myself.

I dusted and swept, mopped and scrubbed. The building would be spotless by the time I was finished. I cleaned out my office of all the dirty and clean clothes. All of my papers and binders, I shoved into a box. I took my books off the book shelves and put them in my car to go back home with me.

By evening, I had tired myself out, but I didn't feel like going back home yet.

~Authors note: hi guys, I hope y'all are enjoying the story so far. Plz ignore any spelling mistakes, I don't proof read really. Also thank you so much for reading. Don't forget to vote and comment:)

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