Competition

Chapter 21- Not Again

Y/N

I set down the stuff on the table and greeted our cat. Lou wasn't in sight, so I started to search the house to find her. I went upstairs and Lou was in the master bedroom. The only thing was that she was not alone.

Lou was sitting on the foot of the bed looking up. Debbie was standing in front of Lou with her shirt off and her bra in hand, swirling the straps around her fingers. Debbie's free hand was on the side of Lou's cheek and my body went numb. The air became cold and I was in shock. Stuck standing and watching them. I didn't say anything, and if I had wanted to, my mouth wouldn't have moved anyway.

Debbie saw me first and merely looked back at Lou as if I was the one interfering with their conversation, but then Debbie said "I like the jewelry box by the way, it looks nice in here." A second later, Lou saw me still at the doorway of the room. She immediately got up and started towards me. "Y/N, it's not what it looks like." I didn't want to listen to Lou right now, so I turned away and made my way to the front door. Lou was faster than me and grabbed my arm, holding me from moving any further. "Y/N! I promise. I can explain."

"It doesn't matter." My voice cracked with each word. I was barely able to speak audibly.

"What do you mean?" Her eyes were soft and confused.

"Because she'll always be there, whether I'm with you or not. There will always be Debbie." I could feel the tears in my eyes forming.

Lou was struck by my words and didn't know what to say back, so I took that movement to leave the house and left using Lou's car. Lou could leave with Debbie's car, I don't care.

"Y/N, please don't do this." She was leaning onto the window of the car, almost begging for me to stay, but I didn't want her to see me cry and I drove off, back to my house in the city.

I honestly wouldn't have cared if someone had come on to Lou and Lou wasn't expecting it. I could understand that she was caught by surprise. But this was Debbie. Lou knew about the feelings Debbie had for her.

Not only that, but Debbie knew about Lou's house out of town. She knew how to get there, the rooms, the layout. The details. She saw the gift I had gotten for Lou. How often did she go there? Was she with Lou all those times? Lou had told me that a lot of people didn't come to her second house. I guess Debbie was the exception to that.

The brisk air of New York was seeping in through the windows and the constant smell of Lou's car wasn't helping me drive smoothly. About an hour into the drive, I pulled over at a gas station and sat in the car. Tears flowed down my face like they were trying to escape from danger and my nose was stuffy, making it difficult to breathe. I cried and cried until my body had no more tears to give.

I didn't feel like driving all the way home since I still had a few more hours to go. I decided to get a hotel not far from the gas station. I had tried myself out and I had nothing left to give for the day.

I got in my room and flopped on the bed. I texted Tammy because she was the one person I could always fall back on and for the first time in my life I didn't want to be alone.

Y/N: Can we hang out tomorrow?

Tammy: Ya, sure. Come by my house at 5

Y/N: Ok, great.

Lou kept calling me, but I wouldn't know what to say to her. So I watched it ring and ring until she stopped trying. She left voicemails, but hearing her voice would only make me cry again.

Once my head hit the pillow, my body was physically asleep, but my mind kept repeating the scene I had witnessed earlier. Why was Debbie there? She must have known that Lou was there. Did she know I was with Lou?

Maybe me and Lou just weren't meant to be together. We weren't meant to have a future. I missed Lou though. I wasn't used to falling asleep alone. Lou was always there when I fell asleep with her arms around my body, keeping me warm and safe. I missed Lou's voice and eyes although they looked so sad the last time I saw her. When I left her.

Maybe I should have stayed. Listened to Lou and eventually forgave all that had happened, brushed it under the rug. Because it was Lou, and I would do anything, give up everything for Lou. Even my sanity, just out of love.

That might be the problem with our relationship. I was willing to lose myself just to be with Lou. Although, I wouldn't want to trade in anything to forget my time with Lou. I would savore it forever and keep it with me, in the back of my mind.

Down the line, I could meet someone else I loved dearly. Someone who I could be my own individual with and not feel the need to give up my personality to be with them. The world has its way and all I can do is accept it.

Right now, all I can do is fall asleep and wait for the next day to come. Then somehow get through that and the day after that.