A Different Path

Chapter 12 - Name Calling

"Get away from me," I begged, only crying harder.

"I ain't gonna hurt you," he said quietly, but it didn't work. I tried to back up even more, my back slamming against a wall. 

"Please don't!" I yelled out of instinct, looking up at Jack finally. I saw heartbreak in his eyes as we looked at one another, and I tried to calm my breathing.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he said, but it didn't help me feel better.

"Get away," I mumbled through my tears, attempting to move even farther away from Jack, forgetting that I was already against a wall.

"Jack ain't gonna do anything," Race chimed in, making me look at him. I only did so for a brief second, then putting my head in my hands. Soon I felt Jack's arms around me, and I didn't fight him. I kept sobbing as he held me, hearing Race walk away.

"Why would you call me that stuff," I got out, my chest feeling heavy.

"That's just how I talk to the fellas. You know I can't show that I have a different side to me when we're around them," he spoke quietly, sounding upset.

"I don't care," I kept mumbling, still laying against Jack. "Why would you do that," I asked once more, sitting up so I could look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry- I wasn't thinking," he began, taking a deep breath. "I thought about my reputation rather than how it'd make you feel."

"For the first time since my Mom left I allowed someone to get close to me, but clearly I don't mean that much to you," I sobbed, wiping my face. 

"You know how much I care-"

"Then why were you so much more worried about how you look to everyone else, rather than thinking about how it'd fuck me up," Jack finally understood just how upset I was when I swore, looking down for a moment.

"Because I'm not used to it. I'm not used to having to think about another person yet. I'm trying, I really am, but I messed up." I had finally began to calm down, and wiped my face once more.

"I know you are," I said, my voice shaky. "I'm sorry."

"No, you don't have a single thing to be sorry for. You've been so patient with me while I get used to this, and I understand why what I said freaked you out so much." I looked down at my hands, not sure what to say. "I'll let the fellas see the other part of me." My head shot up, looking Jack in the eyes.

"Huh?"

"I won't act differently to them, but I'll let them see how I treat you. The part of me that they haven't seen." He smiled at me, and I couldn't help but smile, too.

"Are you sure you're okay with that?" I asked, and he nodded. I then looked down, twiddling my thumbs. "Do you mean what you said?" I mumbled, not looking at him.

"Of course not," he said. I looked up at him now, unable to smile. 

"That's just..." I trailed off, sighing. "Those were two of the things my Dad called me most. Annoying and stupid." I couldn't hold eye contact with him any longer, so I looked back at my hands. 

"I'm sorry," Jack said quietly.

"It's okay." I sat up a bit, wiping my face dry once more.

"Stay home today. You should take a break." Jack said as he stood, standing up. I nodded rather than protesting, and Jack and I both walked home. "You think you're ready to join in on the group game night?" Jack asked, referring to when most of the newsies got together every now and then to play games. I had stayed away from them, as I was still nervous about being in a room with that many people that I didn't know well at once. Despite the gut feeling I had to say no, I nodded, smiling at Jack. "I'll grab dinner on my way home and then we can go," he said, smiling back. "Alright, I'll be back tonight. See ya!" He took off in the opposite direction, and I climbed the ladder, heading right back to bed.